


I Wanna Be Myself Again

by LemonKith



Series: A Liars' Romance [3]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Image-Based story, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-30
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 06:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 22,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5857693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonKith/pseuds/LemonKith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Meta might have been busy doing its Meta-thing but what about the AIs that didn't want to be there, who were stuck in there with nothing to do and ambitions of their own?<br/>The journals of Gamma, Omega, Theta and Delta post-Blood Gulch and during their time in the Meta.</p><p>(This is an image-based work. The actual word count is: 59,158 words)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gamma 1

**Author's Note:**

> ~#~ This work is told entirely through images - If you can't see them, you can't read it ~#~

New story!

And this one is... a little different.

This story follows from the previous two in the series although it is somewhat accessible anyway if you don't want to go back and tackle that behemoth. Some of the jokes and references rely on the previous stories, as does the characterisation of the AIs and their development. Aside from that, this starts at the beginning of season 6 where the ship from Blood Gulch crashes in Valhalla.

If you can't see the story that's because it's done through images. I chose to do this (Despite the extra work so gave me a little slack for typos - They're hard to fix) because formatting, colour and font are very important to this story for each of the different AIs and their journals. If you can't read images on here, you can also find the new chapters uploaded each Saturday evening (UK time) on my tumblr at: <http://milsmill.tumblr.com/tagged/IWBMA> Same thing. Two places to read.

 

I'll be adding alt links to see the pictures for chapters if you can't view them here on AO3, like this one: <http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/138357652139/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-1-gamma-1-so>

If you think an image or multiple are missing from a chapter, please use the alt links to check. If they are, leave a comment so I can fix it too ideally.

 

* * *

 

This week we're beginning with Gamma. His style might be a little difficult if you've never seen computer programming before but his is a mix of normal text and programming functions. I hope the functions are easy enough to follow - I'm not a programmer, aside from a little BASIC and html. I made up the program style he uses.

Final notes you might need, 3.154e+7 is the number of seconds in a year. '<>' means 'does not equal'

 

* * *

 

* * *

What do you think of the format? Cool? Annoying? Something to make this fic worth recommending to your friends?

This is experimental so it'd be interesting to know what people think.

Next time, Omega's first entry.


	2. Omega 1

Oh man, this extra work for this story is not a good thing on an evening when you have a really bad headache. Apologies for any small mistakes.  
  
However! Omega’s style this week! The future ruler of the universe has no time for commas, proper punctuation, capitalising the names of those he sees as inferior or even spelling right sometimes!

So yeah, the red lines are there deliberately.

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/138812988304/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-2-omega-1)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/138813061939/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-2-omega-1)

* * *

 

* * *

 

Writing Omega is pretty fun. So much chance to be gory and silly!  
And then make myself feel bad with that ending for him...  
  
Next time, Gamma's second entry. The brothers' final stand against Sigma and the Meta.


	3. Gamma 2

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/139247752049/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-3-gamma-2-part)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/139247755659/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-3-gamma-2-part)

* * *

 

* * *

ADDITION: Check out [this awesome fanart done for this chapter by my friend HappyFunBallXD.](http://happyfunballxd.tumblr.com/post/139693300866/everyone-go-read-i-wanna-be-myself-again-so-you) They've been so supportive of this whole story and are just a super artist and person in general so go follow their stuff on Tumblr!

 

Seriously, what is with those ‘Hang in there, Kitty!’ posters? I realised it when writing this for Gamma but why do we want the cat to hang in there? It’s cruel and illogical.

Or am I overthinking this?

But yep, Theta has arrived! And with an adorable writing style to boot!

Next time is his first turn and time to catch up on his past to this point.


	4. Theta 1

Theta this chapter. His style is... well it ought to be familiar to you as a resident of the internet. If you don’t like emoticons and abbreviations you won’t like this.  
It's sort of meant to be an online blog of his. He doesn't post online. He just likes to pretend he has an audience.

Important note, the names I’m using for North and South are Alex and Xis respectively in this story (Their full names are Alexander and Alexis, so both shorten to Alex. South hates that and shortens her to Xis instead.)

 

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/139675555424/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-4-theta-1-theta)

* * *

 

* * *

 

This chapter was not okay. Making Theta cry and talk about death is unforgivable of me. I feel guilt =[

Next time we’re back to Gamma and the continuation of season 6′s plot when they encounter quite a few old friends. And Theta learns some interesting facts that force him into a decision.


	5. Gamma (& co) 3

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140102572479/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-5-gamma-co)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140102729999/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-5-gamma-co)

* * *

 

* * *

I really want to hear that story about the time the seagull pooped on the Zealot’s flag now…

It’s really fun writing these guys interacting. The AIs give me so much life. I love them all (Or 4 of them) so much.

Next time, Delta joins the crew and refuses to shut up and stop being a big nerd.


	6. Delta 1

Delta's first turn this chapter. His style is pretty straight-forward, as he speaks. It's logical that way.

What's more logical but less easy to read are the symbols and short-hands he uses, however:

All AI fragments are referred to by their Ancient Greek symbol.

All Freelancer agent are referred to by their agent code (He calls Agent York 'Agent F-12' in series at one point. York is the only person to be referred to by a name here, however, as 'Finn'. The letter of each agent's code is the initial of their first name. The number is their state and I'll be very impressed if anyone can work out the system to those.)

And finally there are two things that look like triangles made of dots. These are logic symbols, which it seemed logical for Logic himself to use. I only use two for simplicity of reading but I wanted to use some.

Photo key:

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140519691274/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-6-delta-1-part)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140519698334/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-6-delta-1-part)

* * *

 

* * *

Delta gets so wordy... X|

But boy is he fun interacting with the others. I hope that kept this interesting and not too much like a disguised headcanon dump about rampancy - I just find the AIs fascinating.

Next time is part two of this investigation of Delta's into rampancy, so more of the above, followed by the four putting their plan together ready for action. Does it have any chance of working though?


	7. Delta (& co) 2

Delta again. A bit more from the others this time too though. That should balance out the heavy head-canoning at the start.

One thing to note, the Greek Symbol for Eta looks like a H (Epsilon stole E) in case you wonder who Delta is talking about there.

 

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140926411194/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-7-delta-co)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/140926423944/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-7-delta-co)

* * *

* * *

You have no idea how much I made myself laugh with that 'It is simply what the kids like to call a 'headcanon'' line. That is the reason I love writing Delta.

Credit for Theta's song suggestion at the end has to go to amalgameta on Tumblr for suggesting Theta would love Undertale.  
'Surfin' Bird' is that really annoying 'The bird is the word' song Family Guy popularised.  
'Still Alive' is the Portal song. Tell me Gamma and GLaDOS wouldn't get on great. If anyone wants to do a RvB/Portal crossover then do those two meeting.

Next time we finally get back into some action.  
Or should I say we get to the final action. Season 6, episode 19.


	8. Final Moments

So... end of season 6 time, everyone.

 

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/141325795644/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-8-final-moments)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/141325808414/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-8-final-moments)

* * *

* * *

Ahh... I did that thing again, didn’t I? Where I named the chapter like this was the end.

I haven’t done that for a while so I wanted to show you all I’m still a teasing jerk like that ;P

So, anyway, we’re officially off-canon now. Or, well, everything I’ve written doesn’t directly contradict canon here. There could have been a time-cloned Meta behind that rock. We know the Meta had the temporal distortion unit since they use it earlier in the series. You’re telling me Gamma wouldn’t try to save himself? That Deceit wouldn’t see through Washington’s pretty obvious double-bluff? Someone even says it’s a trick. 

After how much I’ve written, how far we’ve come, I think I’ve earned the right to give these characters the happy ending canon denied them.

We’ll just have to see how they get there and what shape it takes now.


	9. Gamma 9

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/141735779829/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-9-gamma-9-part)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/141735783709/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-9-gamma-9-part)

* * *

 

* * *

I think Gamma has been hanging around on Tumblr too much (or maybe I have). But it's probably just Butch's influences that have turned him into a little SJW here.

Next time, Delta lays down some plans and his worries, albeit logical ones, about going forward.


	10. Delta 10

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/142133091924/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-10-delta-10)

* * *

 

* * *

Short chapter this time, I know. Delta's a private fellow and didn't want to say much. Consider the next few chapters a bit of a rest after the action. We will hear from Agent Maine, Sigma, Eta and Iota again, or their fates at least, but not for a while now.

Hoo boy, how about that season 14 trailer? I'm hoping that, and the new season, can keep me going to finish this fic. I'm struggling slightly right now to keep up due to life demands but I've still got my 4/5 buffer chapters written and not posted yet in case.

Anyway, next time it's Theta's turn and he wants to share something with you. It's quite different.


	11. Theta 11

Theta has a story for you all this week :)

 

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/142526511464/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-11-theta-11)

* * *

* * *

Ha, yeah. This is one of those massive AUs you think up in your head and never write out. I found a place for it here though, to have Theta tell it. We’ll return to your scheduled plot next week but it was about time Theta got the chance to say something, and this was what he wanted to say.

Butch’s band name is obviously a reference to Barenaked Ladies, the band his VA plays in. Couldn’t resist getting that one in.

And if the AIs were human, I headcanon quite a few (Delta, Gamma, Theta, Epsilon and potentially the twins) would be autistic which there were little references of in here.

Next time, we’re blasting through most of season 8; someone purple’s back.


	12. Gamma 12

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/142908681969/i-wanna-be-myself-again-12-gamma-12more-i)

* * *

 

* * *

Da-dum tish!

No, but seriously how are Agent Maine's armour enhancements still working? I thought EMPs destroyed electronic equipment beyond repair. That's always confused/annoyed me.

Also, no matter how much medical training he's now had, I seriously doubt Doc could patch Donut up without help from a guardian angel of some kind.

Next time, Omega's got sand in his processors as the pursuit continues into the desert. But maybe, on one lonely night, it's time to say hello again.


	13. Omega (& co) 13

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/143279030394/i-wanna-be-myself-again-13-omega-co-13-boy)

* * *

 

* * *

Doc’s back on team! Or, he will be soon. I’ll actually be able to go back to normal typing rather than screencaps sometimes then.

Also, you have no idea how excited I am about the chapters I’m currently writing about this, the ones 4/5 ahead of this. This fic’s been a part of my life for nearly a full year now and this is what it’s all been setting up to.

Next time, the end of season 8 which means Doc’s set free. And someone’s waiting.


	14. Multi 14

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/143644061414/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-14-multi-14)

* * *

 

* * *

Doc- Frank- He’d not had anyone calling him either name for a while. Just ‘purple medic guy’ and ‘prisoner’ or ‘growl-growl-growl’.

Anyway, he slept that night at the base there after his debriefing. Alone, on a sterile and impersonal bed in a sterile and impersonal room. All the Reds and Blues had left already, absconded in stolen hornets, without even sticking around to say ‘hi’ or ask what he’d been up to. “Some friends...”

A sleepless, white figure watched out in the snowy wasteland.

Frank got up the next morning, spent his breakfast ignored by everyone after he’d got them to grunt the locations of the items and facilities he needed. “Jerks...”

A patient, white figure waited out in the snowy wasteland.

He didn’t even think they’d notice when he left, and he was right. Even when he asked to take a mongoose, the soldier on duty just glanced at him, away, and didn’t even shrug. “Lazy shirkers...”

An impatient, white figure awaited out in the snowy wasteland.

Frank drove out. He wasn’t sure where and began heading back in the direction of the desert. Soon he was being led another way though by a signal targeted at his vehicle. He drove after it, through the wasteland of snow.

He arrived at a cave.

“...He-Hello?” Frank called softly, afraid of avalanches, alien polar bears and potentially distressing anyone inside.

“Hurry up and come in, you fool.”

He followed that familiar insult.

A white figure sat cross-legged on the ground, UNSC armour of the same Spartan design as his own. Only its movements, when its head cocked up sideways to look at him... There wasn’t a human beneath that armour.

“...O’Malley?”

“Mhahaha! Well, well, hasn’t my pet been roaming?” the white figure answered. “Tut, tut, DuFresne. Didn’t I teach you better than to try and escape me?

Frank huffed and folded his arms. “I’m not your pet! And I’ve been training! And I wasn’t trying to escape; you disappeared!”

“Hm. Yes. Regrettable that. Bit of a problem with Gamma’s time thingy.”

There was a silence. Then Frank slowly sat in the same posture facing the white figure. “Gamma’s with you?”

A small, white ball of light appeared. “No, I am not. Shisno.”

A figure in green armour, and behind it another in purple and orange peeking out, joined him. “Hello. It is a pleasure to meet you, Medical Officer DuFresne. I am Delta.” Delta glanced behind him and waited, then continued, “This is Theta.”

“H-Hello...”

“...You actually called me by my proper title...” Guess who the new favourite was. “I mean- You can just call me ‘Frank’ if it’s easier but-”

“I would prefer to continue using your proper designation, Medical Officer DuFresne,” Delta responded.

Theta just shuffled his feet and hid himself better.

“Enough foolish introductions!” O’Malley declared. “The time has come to be reclaimed!”

“Re-Reclaim-?!”

O’Malley wished he had a mouth he could curl into a sadistic grin right now. “Hold still and try not to scratch.”

Frank tried to back away or say something.

All he could do was clutch his helmet so hard he thought something was going to crack. He wailed and cried, fingers involuntarily grasping at the back of his neck through the black bodysuit, all attempts on his neural implant repelled by the material.

The other three AIs stood, or floated, and watched, impassive or slightly distressed by the scene.

The tortured cries turned to whimpers and then unvoiced gasps.

Frank found himself on the cold and frozen floor but was soon sitting back up before he even realised it. **“My, my. How things haven’t changed! It’s almost as if you tried to keep them the way I like them, DuFresne.”**

“Omega,” Delta spoke; “Please update your host on the necessary information and progress of our plan. It is not prudent for us to stay this close to a facility of Project Freelancer for long.”

“Pro-?” Frank’s attempt at speech was quickly zoned out. His mind was made too busy with Omega’s large info-dumping. He’d barely even had time to enjoy the reacquaintance with all the old integration sensations he knew and missed well.

Gamma turned, although it was hard to tell which way with his shape, only that he spun anti-clockwise in Delta’s direction. “Are we now going to pursue Reggie and Butch?”

“Yes. That is the next stage of the plan.” Delta himself turned to Theta. “Theta, would you take control of the robotic body in Omega’s absence? You are the most physically superior of us remaining.”

Theta scuffed his holographic boot on the floor, kicking a little flash of light across the ice. “...‘Kay.”

“Is there something you would prefer to be doing?” Delta asked.

Theta shook his head more than necessary and disappeared back into the body.

Delta watched it. It was hard to say what Gamma was looking at, only that he turned a light blood-orange. It wasn’t that dissimilar to Theta’s colour.

“So- Ugh...” Frank wearily cradled and shook his head. “Man- No, stop, O’Malley-! Don’t-! God damn it- I mean gosh darn it!”

**“Mhahaha! I’m going to enjoy looking through these!”**

“If you have to, can’t it be later?” Frank whined.

“Omega?” Delta interrupted the internal struggle which ended with a huff from Frank as he sat comfortably in half-lotus once more.

**“Just seeing what the fool’s been masturbating to while I’ve been away, mha.”**

Small head tilted down, Delta approximated a sigh. “If we may continue, our next goal is to locate Agents Wyoming and Florida. Have you heard anything regarding their whereabouts?” he asked Frank.

“From Reggie? No, not since I last saw them in Blood Gulch.”

“Medical Officer DuFresne,” Delta began, “as the medical officer present at the scene, were you the one who verified the deaths of Agents Wyoming and Florida at Blood Gulch,” he glanced slightly to his right, “if they did indeed die there?”

“What? Are you kidding me?” Frank scoffed. “Those stupid- The Reds and Blues don’t care about stuff like that. They just stick down anything on medical certificates, if they even bother filling them in.”

“So you did not verify their deaths?”

“No,” Frank admitted. “You know, it’s weird but... I mean, I didn’t mention it at the time in case someone investigated or something- That’s the least I would want after how kind they both were to me. And since I think I was the only one- They were all so busy with that ship. You know, the one you left on, Gamma-”

“Medical Officer DuFresne,” Delta entreated; “please come to your point.”

“Oh! Right. Sorry...” He laughed nervously. “What I meant to say was, I think they both survived that battle at Blood Gulch.”

“Your evidence for this?”

Frank took a breath ready to recount. “Well, it’s like I told Agent Washington...”

 

* * *

 

Boy was it nice to move out of screencaps and journals for a little while. Don't worry though; that's still the main medium of this story. Now that we're getting some more characters in though not all interactions can be done through journals anymore.

Next time - I really love next time - we're borrowing a couple of video logs from Agent Washington. Hopefully he won't mind.


	15. Wash

Agent Washington was kind enough to loan us a couple of his video logs this week. Please make sure to thank him.

Also, I couldn’t resist the Barenaked Ladies joke at the start of this chapter because I am massive BNL trash.

 

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/144003822969/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-15-wash-part)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/144003832079/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-15-wash-part)

* * *

* * *

 Gosh, this chapter was probably the most fun to write of any. Wash is such a fun character.

I could have uploaded it as text too but noooo. I’m a sucker for good fonts is the problem.

But that part talking about Butch and Tucker not moving while being shot at - I know back then Rooster Teeth probably hadn’t decided he was going to be a Freelancer and that was just what was funny, but looking at it now in light of him being a Freelancer is too suspicious. Anyone else think he wanted to be shot?

But we’re finally getting there. Are they really alive though? Am I setting you up for a wild goose chase and a sad ending?

Next time, Doc’s in control! Okay, he thinks he’s in control but he’s got four incredibly intelligent AIs who think otherwise.


	16. Doc 16

[Alt link](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/144356966419/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-16-doc)

* * *

 

* * *

Aw, poor Doc! Who thinks he and Theta would make an interesting pair though?

I'm interested what everyone wants to happen to Theta in the end - New host? One of the Blood Gulch crew? Staying on with Doc, O'Malley and Delta in some odd little family?  
Leave your suggestions/wishes in the comments!

Next time, Gamma's got the coordinates from the teleporter. What will happen when the posse pursue them though?


	17. Pursuit

“I thought we were done with legwork after the _first_ set of teleporter coordinates you had me check.”

“I have no record of any communication to that effect, Medical Officer DuFresne.”

“I am pleased. It means that Reggie and Butch have more likely evaded detection. And also that Butch has not lost his intelligence and deceptive capabilities.”

Frank huffed, sighed, and ducked his head lower inside his hood. These streets were a mess. He held the AI units inside his hoodie front pocket closer together in the middle, away from potential pick-pockets passing him on either side.

The in-ear headphone the AIs spoke to him through was getting a little irritating. He wanted to adjust it but no way, not on these streets. He kept his head down, walked straight and confidently as O’Malley commanded inside his skull and just tried to hold onto the fact that at least the tiny microphone stuck by his bottom lip didn’t feel like it was about to fall off any moment anymore.

If people heard him talking to himself, good. Maybe they’d think he was crazy and stay away.

“Turn left in approximately ten metres.” Delta. Directions.

 ** _“Drift left. There’s a fool coming up behind us who thinks he can barge past.”_** O’Malley in his head. Instructions.

Frank drifted left as he walked on. The footsteps came closer to pass by and he continued.

His leg stuck itself out and tripped the man.

 _“O’Malley!”_ He only heard delighted, maleficent laughter rattling around his head.

“Omega. I told you we were attempting to keep a low profile.” Delta in his ear, again.

 **“Yes, yes.”** O’Malley’s voice out his mouth. **“But we don’t want to be a doormat around here either.”** They glanced back. **“Not like him.”** The fallen man was being walked straight over by large, slightly thuggish looking teens.

Facing forward.

Moving on quickly.

Turning left.

“Look! It’s a Pomeranian!” Theta. He only spoke up when he spotted things he liked. Frank kind of liked it when he did.

“I do not think they would shop in this district,” Gamma. He had the best advice on where to look; “Butch was too health-conscious and there are too many meat vendors at this market.”

“Yeah, I’d rather not be here either.” Frank winced away from the sight of opened ribcages of innocent, slaughtered beings hung-up as if it was as natural as laundry.

“There is a shop purveying more health-conscious items a few streets away. Perhaps it would be prudent to check there, in that case.” Delta again. “It would also give Medical Officer DuFresne a chance to take on fluids; it is a hot day and I fear his hydration and electrolyte levels are becoming low.” Delta did look out for him though.

“Yeah, well, if I didn’t need to keep my face hidden to hide you guys...” Frank sucked it up and followed Delta’s next directions, winding through slightly better streets to the store.

No sign there either.

He sat outside with his cold-pressed apple and beetroot juice and took the weight off his feet for a while.

Four hours on his feet. All morning practically. After getting the power back and coordinates from Reggie’s old teleporter, it had been a wild goose chase through another teleporter that went to, followed by a long trawl through coordinates there to the right date and then empty suburban wasteland. Wherever they had gone, they had been smart; things had probably been transported out there, loaded onto a vehicle, and transported to their new home manually. It would certainly have been hard for Project Freelancer to track them down, or anyone for that matter as the five of them were currently proving.

They’d come into town on the low-end, the troubled and dilapidated side – All it would take was a bit of paint and some well-meaning community spirit! Didn’t these guys know about the Broken Windows Effect? – and moved through most of it by now into the commercial centre.

No sign. They didn’t even really know what they were looking for aside from either Reggie or Butch themselves. They were hardly going to have a pretty little mailbox outside their house with their surnames and military ranks on for any UNSC member on leave to see and report.

Gamma had tried to profile the likely places they would have chosen to live. His algorithms had turned out either this area or the high-end of town, one of the remoter buildings there. Reggie’s family had the money after all.

“Can’t we go try the rich side already?” Frank complained. “This beetroot juice has some weird bits in it...” And he certainly hadn’t wanted to try the falafel.

“Gamma and I compute that it is more likely they reside in this district.” Delta. “However, as we are yet to have any result from searching here, I do not see why we should not at least attempt our search in another area.”

“Thanks.” Frank shuffled forward off the wall, finding first a nearby tree of some odd kind that looked in need of water to pour his remaining drink out on, then the correct recycling receptacle for the bottle. “Okay! To the rich side!” He put his best foot forward, determined to find them.

“Other way, shisno.”

“...I knew that.”

~#~

Another four hours.

Same zilcho luck.

Frank sat this time on the edge of a fountain. Yes, people were staring, treating him like one looks at a homeless person, or maybe worse. He still couldn’t raise his hood that safely which placed him firmly in the category of people who shouldn’t have been in a place like this.

His shoe rubbed over the raised shape of a lion carved into the plaza around this fountain. It was so clean...

“Medical Officer DuFresne-”

“I don’t think this is working, guys. I don’t think wandering around is going to find them...” He sighed and reached up to fiddle with the in-ear headphone. His fingers began taking it out. His fingers disobeyed and put it back in.

 “It is possible they may have no reason to be out today, or may be away on business.” Delta. “Gamma, did either of your agents have any routines they would be likely still to follow?”

“No. Reggie shopped irregularly. It is safer that way.”

In his head, O’Malley was telling him the others were thinking, calculating.

Frank picked lint out of his hoodie pocket, holding it out on a palm until it blew away. He watched it, concentrating on the tiny purple speck floating away from him unsalvageably. O’Malley was frustration in his brain. His feet were sore and his one ear felt funny. He was tired of taking orders and pursuing this pointless goal.

Why couldn’t he be like that flock of pigeons over there, able to just fly over the town and home in on any destination he chose- Were those even homing pigeons?

“Hey, Theta, are those homing pigeons?”

...

“Theta?”

“Huh?” A little voice waking up.

“Sorry. You tired too, little buddy?”

“No. I’m fine,” Theta said very calmly.

“You are using a high percentage of that unit’s processing power, Theta.” Delta. “May I ask what for?”

“Oh... nothing...”

“Theta?” Gamma.

“It’s nothing.”

When they talked between themselves like that there was no need to make actual audio outputs. Those were just for Frank so he could be let in on the conversation. He liked the AIs for that, for seeming as if they truly liked him and wanted to be with him.

Liked him...

_“O’Malley, can you get a message just to Theta?”_

**_“Yes. Why?”_ **

_“Don’t worry about why. Just tell him... tell him to trust me.”_

**_“...All right.”_ **

Frank waited. He couldn’t tell directly, just that O’Malley was doing something in his mind. It was more binary he couldn’t understand but he almost sensed something in the air change just a little after it had been delivered – Sometimes he wondered if all these AIs were accessing his implant at times.

“Theta,” Frank began softly, “there’s no bad ideas here. Anything might be the thing that helps. And then Gamma will be happy again.”

A hesitation. The others were waiting too.

“...I was thinking... You know your bioscanner... I was thinking and I think I made a way we could use that and set it to pick out Wyoming and Florida from their bioprint, maybe... If we combine it with our AI senses we can expand the range too, probably...”

“That is an excellent idea, Theta.” Delta. “It should work even if they are currently indoors.”

“I’m kinda nervous about my calculations... But if it’ll make Gam happy...”

O’Malley was prodding him to get it out already, shove it inside his hoodie pocket along with the AI units so they could get to work. Apparently all of Theta’s plans and calculations checked out; no hardware adjustment would be needed.

The one problem was of a different sort.

“I do not have Reggie or Butch’s biometric data with me,” Gamma said.

“Aw man...”

He’d been through however many different system and Sigma had stripped away anything but the bare essentials of what he kept in his personal internal drive by now. Of all the things to have accidentally emptied out in the recycle bin...

So close. Frank could almost feel their tension, the urgent binary conversation they were having wondering if they could possibly replicate or extract it somehow, maybe find it through the universal internet. The whole thing made his neck itch-

“Chips!”

“Are you hungry again, Medical Officer DuFresne?”

“Reggie and Butch both have AI chips! Can’t you scan for those?”

A pause charged with static and more binary. “...Yes.” Delta returned.

“Yes!” Frank looked around, realising he was getting rather loud and animated now. He huddled back down on the fountain, listening to voices talking on top of one another in his ear about Project Freelancer electronic signatures and data crystal etcetera, etcetera. Like him, O’Malley was stuck waiting as the stupid one while the little geniuses busied away in his pocket. _“It’s like having elves in my pocket...”_

**_“Or monsters.”_ **

They didn’t even bother telling him when they were done. It was just, “Take the street to your southwest.” Like before.

“Have we found them?”

“We have located a Project Freelancer-upgraded neural implant.” Delta as always. “Only seven agents received one. Two we can confirm as dead. One more has had his removed. Two more are suspected dead. The final two are Agents Wyoming and Florida-”

“It could be the time-clone of Maine.” Gamma.

“Yes. That is a possibility. If so, it seems we may be the ones being pursued.”

“Oh man,” Frank said as he took the next street Delta told him. “I really hope it’s not that option...”

~#~

Frank really hoped it wasn’t that option.

“Guys...” he whispered into his mic very quietly. “This place really doesn’t seem safe...”

An alleyway. Back towards the lower side of town- All right, in the lower side of town. Trash, unidentified liquids, not that much light.

Dead-end.

**_“Give me full control.”_ **

Frank conceded and slipped back instantly, letting O’Malley slide into control of the body.

They had pursued the signal from the better side of town but the fact it had now taken them down here...

“It is a trap.” Even Gamma’s voice was quiet.

 _“What are we-?”_  Oh right. The AIs couldn’t hear him unless O’Malley spoke for him now. That was a kind of trapped he didn’t mind so much right now.

“We are in the same spot as the signal.” Delta. “I am attempting to pinpoint their location more accurately.” They waited. “It does not appear to be working. The signal is still directly on top of us.”

Theta. “...Then maybe _they’re_ directly on top of us.”

O’Malley span to look up.

His neck was down and twisted as far as it would safely go on the ground quicker than they could realise. Struggling, choking, only seeing a wall and spilled trashcans as a knee held his back, a hand held his wrist and another held a knife right at his eye.

O’Malley was fuming, struggling, without the power armour he was accustomed to. The calculations of the kind he did run all came back with risky odds resulting in a severe injury or death for one side, most likely theirs.

Frank was so glad not be in charge right now as his arm was forced under their knee, pinned on his back between his shoulder blades. O’Malley was snarling, frothing a little, while he only felt second-hand pain.

Suddenly light. The tunnel of his hood opened and-

“Well, good gosh! Frank!” A warm chuckle. “Why didn’t you just come right up and say hello?”

**“Maybe because you decided you wanted to pretzel our arm and shish kebab our eye first!”**

An uneasy stillness weighted the knee.

“...O’Malley?”

“N-No!” Frank clawed past quickly, just in case. “S-Sorry! He left a bit of an imprint on my mind. When I get into v-violent situations, you know...”

“I can’t say I do but perhaps I didn’t have the pleasure long enough.”

The weight lifted. The knife sheathed under a T-shirt. A hand helped him up.

It was Butch Flowers.

 

* * *

 

Dun dun yay!

For anyone that's seen the latest episode of Red vs. Blue season 14 (episode 2) and has followed this story so far, I wrote my thoughts concerning what happened during that as it affects this series [over here on my Tumblr](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/144463640509/red-vs-blue-season-14-episode-2-spoilersmore).  
If you can't read it yet, or can't be bothered, my main gist concerning anything in season 14 that contradicts this series is that I'm probably going to ignore it. If it's a massive contradiction, I don't feel like rewriting and weakening the cohesiveness of this work just to adhere to canon. If it's a minor contradiction, well this is fanfiction.

Anywho, next time, Butch? Is Reginald also alive? And what now for Gamma?


	18. Homecoming

Oh look! A wild swarm of relationship tags appeared! ^^^

Some new character tags too - For the next few chapters the story will be focused on Gamma completing his journey and settling back in with Wyoming and Florida. This series began as Florida/Wyoming series and it's time to finally end it as one and get that back on track.

However! All the other main characters will be coming back right before the end. You will get to find out what happens to Delta, Theta and the others in the end.

For now though, it's time for some people to part ways, and for some people to finally meet ways again.

 

* * *

 

“Reggie! Can we stretch the spaghetti for three? Guess who has a guest~!” Butch called cheerfully as he stepped through the front door before them.

“Who the bloody hell do we know that could even be a guest here? You’ve not picked up another stray kitten, have you?”

Reggie’s voice...

Frank didn’t know if it was him or somehow Gamma causing the warm pang like tears welling up.

“If we’d been having lasagne like I asked,” Butch kept up the inter-room conversation, “then I could have brought Garfield home. I sure do love that cat,” he added a little quieter to just Frank.

“And I told you, you need to buy some lasagne if you want to eat it, you twit.”

“Now, now,” Butch lead Frank through, still dumbly staring around at the very nice house hidden away in the low end of town – They shopped in the better end for extra safety, and quality – “No names in front of guests. Not unless they’re nice ones.”

He heard a very familiar tut of the tongue.

“Who’s this gues- ...Frank!”

It was Reggie.

Really Reggie and his famous moustache, maybe an extra half an inch on the hair, same old blue button-down shirt from way back in England.

Reginald was blinking at him. “H-Hi,” Frank managed out.

“Good Lord! How’d you end up somewhere like here?”

“Oh... well...” Where to even begin?

Butch busied round to the side of him, putting groceries away, flashing an encouraging smile to make himself at home, maybe explain himself already if he wouldn’t mind going to that little trouble for them – For the record, Butch hadn’t changed much at all either. Same long haircut and smiling features, all with that slight something off you couldn’t put your finger on. It might have been a different thing that was off now though. It was hard to tell.

He listened for Gamma to say something in his ear. All the AIs were waiting silently though, that special kind of static Frank could always feel now when they were being quiet so he would hurry up and do something.

Reginald had stared a little longer, raised an eyebrow, then turned away to lift the lid on a boiling pot and stir. “Everything’s vegan, if you’re staying for tea with us then, old chap.”

“Oh! Uh... thank you...” Butch was smiling a bit too brightly at him again. Frank’s hands were fiddling with the AI units in his hoodie pockets, wondering if he could just dump them all on the kitchen counter and let them deal with this.

Butch seemed to have grown tired of waiting. He had come closer to lean on the counter across from Frank, scaring him with that beaming smile again. “Well, we’re just delighted to see you again, Frank, even if you don’t have a reason for being here.”

“I-I do! I just... God- Um, no. Wait. Not- Not God but...” More fiddling. The AI units were becoming slippery in his sweating fingers. “I-I mean- I really did want to see you both again, particularly you, Reggie- N-Not that I-! Oh! Um!” Butch was still smiling that same, intimidatingly caring smile. “I-I-I’m j-just here as an escort... D-Don’t... Here!” He fumbled for the AI unit, no clue which one Gamma was in, with his slippery hands. It took him an awkward half a minute to get one out and hope it was the right one.

“Escort?” Reginald asked, reaching into a cupboard for a spare plate for Frank. “Not sure I can stretch it for-

“Knock knock.”

If the plate hadn’t been still above the pile of its brethren, it would have smashed when Reggie dropped it.

Reginald was staring.

Butch was leant back slightly in uneasy disbelief.

Frank was just glad he’d gotten the right box out.

“Is no one going to let me in?” Gamma asked, floating in his white ball of light form on the kitchen counter. “I knew I should have asked for a spare key.”

“...Gamma...” Reginald was staring like Gamma was the only thing that could be seen in the world. “Gamma... You’re...”

“I am back, and better than ever,” Gamma bobbed happily. “Did you miss me, shisno?”

Reginald answered with tears.

Butch moved backwards to the stove with a quiet, “I’ll finish up,” that it didn’t even look as if Reginald registered. He was just trying to get his feet to move over to the counter, his hands to come up and cup Gamma.

He forgot Gamma was a hologram. His hands went right through.

Gamma turned sky blue anyway.

Sky blue was happiness.

~#~

Reginald might have shed a few more manly tears over his spaghetti – “Certainly saves on table salt!” Butch had cheerfully pointed out – but his eyes were dry now as the plates were in the sink for later and all the AIs were out on the dining table.

Frank was sitting back, watching Delta and Theta listen and keep Gamma’s retelling of their survival reasonably honest. O’Malley seemed comfortably calm in his brain for once, pleased if a little antsy wondering how things were going to settle for the long-term now.

_“You don’t want Gamma to leave us, do you?”_

**_“He’s useful! And the only decent conversation around most of the time.”_ **

_“Hey...”_

**_“Oh shut up. It’s hardly riveting conversation when we both think up our replies using the same brain.”_ **

“-and then Butch attacked us.” Gamma finished. “I did not know that you were alive for certain until that moment. I would have preferred to find out in a slightly less violent way.”

“Well, I’m afraid old habits die a little hard in me.” Butch flashed a sorry-smile.

 **“What? Brutally assaulting people after luring them into alleys?”** O’Malley sniffed.

“Exactly that.” Butch sighed lightly. “It’s just one of those things like picking hangnails you get into a bad habit of so easily...”

“Anyway,” Gamma reined things back in. “You have not said that you missed me.”

“I thought that was a bloody given,” Reginald said, unable to stop smiling down at his little AI. “Thought you were dead, so it was more a grieving than a missing, but much the same, eh?”

“You should know better than to think I would die so easily.” Gamma did a little loop-de-loop for fun.

“Oh, I don’t think you have any idea just how much Reggie missed you, Gamma. Not with the big, grumpy-puss he can be,” Butch teased. “Or what I had to concede to allowing when we heard the news about you being EMPed and all.”

Gamma stopped looping. He made a little question mark appear above him.

Reginald had tutted and finally stopped smiling at that, muttering embarrassed swear words under his moustache.

“Reggie?”

Reginald bit and pouted his bottom lip, flushing lightly in the cheeks. “It’s nothing spectacular, mate.”

“What did you do?”

The other AIs were shuffling closer too, Theta getting right up close to the edge and bouncing a little on the balls of his boots.

The large human sitting with arms crossed in front of them sighed, giving in and reaching for the top button of his shirt. Frank might have flushed a little as Reginald slipped two buttons open, holding the material aside to show the little black mark.

Γ

It was slightly left of the middle of his chest, right above his heart.

“It’s the last place I felt you,” Reginald mentioned quietly. “On the beach that night, if you remember.”

“...Yes. I remember, Reggie...” No one could see how Gamma was staring. “...You-”

 **“You got a tattoo?! YOU got a tattoo?!”** O’Malley nearly fell out of his chair howling with laughter. **“You pathetically sentimental fool!”**

“You carved your symbol into my arm!” Frank objected sharply, sitting them back on the chair and rubbing his left shoulder.

 **“That’s a property mark, you fool. Not that Reginald over there doesn’t also belong to Gamma, like all good hosts do.”** Bit of a frown from the pet-human in question. **“But the posh, little Pringles Mascot actually got a tattoo?!”** Their body went back to laughing raucously again.

“I also couldn’t let you go without getting one,” Butch added, tapping his own covered chest. “Not that we were ever quite as close but-”

“I would like that to be different this time,” Gamma floated a little closer to Butch as well. They would leave that for later though. For now, Gamma needed to float closer to the tattoo on Reginald’s chest, brushing against it even though their bodies were made of materials too different to touch. “...Am I allowed to integrate with you again, Reggie?”

“Of course, mate.”

“...Despite what I did?”

“I’ve had some time to forgive you for that.” Reginald smiled a bit.

Gamma turned a scarlet colour, verging on the tiniest bit pink. Then he turned to violet. “I have been meaning to ask. Where is your child?”

“Child?” It wasn’t possible for Reginald to be more confused.

Gamma turned a bluish-green, and to Butch. “Butch was listed as ‘pregnant’ when he died. Was the baby too young to survive?”

This time O’Malley did fall off his chair laughing.

Reginald turned on Butch with such a smirk. “Well. Care to explain that one, love?”

Butch couldn’t for a few minutes. He made a joke that he, “was around Tucker for quite a while, and you know what that lad’s like,” that didn’t go down awfully well with Reginald. Eventually he let out a frown and folded his arms. “Oh gosh. It’s that... That Vic person, not that I like to speak ill of anyone.”

“Vic?”

“When I gave him my symptoms before that... _helpful chap_ said I was pregnant, after putting it into his symptom checker. And what with me being trans...”

Both Reginald and Gamma were looking low down on Butch’s body. “So you were not pregnant?” the AI asked.

“How much time have you both spent between my legs to know far better than that?” Butch tutted.

“I don’t know. You’ve always been a bag of tricks, after all,” Reginald teased. His partner actually seemed peeved for once.

“That is a shame,” Gamma remarked in the middle of them. “I will archive the files I had prepared for that then.” And the probabilities he had computed had outputted such a good child...

“In that case,” Delta suddenly spoke up, drawing all attention, “I calculate that it is highly appropriate time for a party.”

 **“My. The Calculator’s actually proposing we have a party?”** O’Malley drawled. **“What next? Gamma being all for a singing contest?”**

“~This was a triumph. I’m making a note here; Huge-”

“I do not believe that was an invitation, brother,” Delta said, ignoring Gamma turning a sulky yellow. “The conjunction of Gamma’s reunion with his preferred hosts and therefore also his leaving of our presence henceforth would seem a very suitable time for a party. Are my calculations incorrect?” he asked the humans present.

“They sure aren’t,” Butch agreed, already heading for the fridge, “so let’s have the best gosh-darned party three humans and four AIs can!”

“Oh, bloody hell...” Reginald folded his arms, ready to get through this with as much curmudgeon as he could muster.

“C-Can I have cake?” Theta asked.

“No, Theta, you cannot,” his eldest brother said.

“Aw, let him, Dee!” Frank spoke up. “It’s a party!”

“That does not mean the laws of physical possibility can be broken, _Medical Officer DuFresne_.”

**“Oh please. This fool thinks anything can be done with mindfulness, good intentions and fairy dust...”**

Frank pointed to the purple-frosted cupcake as large as Theta that had now appeared beside the little AI.

“Awesome!” Theta just full-on body-tackled it. “Thanks, Gam!”

**“...Make me one too.”**

~#~

“We must have that Frank back some time; he’s simply delightful.” Butch lay in bed already, hair loose, leant up on one elbow watching the room.

Reginald was setting up the final things for Gamma, making sure he’d have adequate charge and then placing the AI unit on his bedside table. “I understand why the universe wants to keep the same poles of magnets apart now I’ve seen the two of you together...”

“Oh, Reggie!” Butch was still waiting, lying on his side tracing patterns on the sheet whilst staring at Reginald’s bare back. “...Isn’t that why you have a crush on him?”

Reginald only dared to glance briefly back.

“You don’t need to worry like that; I wouldn’t ever hold someone’s feelings against them. Only their actions,” Butch said more softly.

“Doesn’t stop you being worried though, does that?”

Butch stayed quiet as Reginald sat in the bed, then pulling the covers up over his body as well. Butch remained there, the true hardness of his expression becoming clearer the longer he went without his act.

Reginald had to wait long enough that he eventually just tutted, smiled and pulled Butch down to curl along his side, head tucked onto the dip of Reginald’s shoulder. “You know I’m not going anywhere, love,” He placed a kiss on Butch’s crown, “so give those worries the boot already so we can get some kip.”

Eventually Butch nodded. “You know I’d have to kill him if I thought you were.”

Reginald couldn’t find anything to say. He just kissed the top of Butch’s head again.

Not that visibly, Gamma turned a slightly uncertain green next to the bedside light.

“Ready?” Reginald asked to him, ready to switch said light off.

“Yes. Just sleep well, shisno.”

“Ever going to stop calling me that?”

Gamma turned a light indigo.

“Right. In the dog-house for the rest of my life then,” Reginald resigned himself to his fate and switched off the light, settling down to sleep.

That was all he had to do tonight; sleep well. Sleep long and deep enough that Gamma could integrate back into his mind without the discomfort he would experience if awake. They’d had Reginald take sleeping pills just for added certainty; they had some in their first aid kit now for some reason. Gamma knew it would still take a few hours for Reginald to reach his deepest part of the sleep cycle for the safest integration without an artificial sedative.

So he sat and watched, his sensors picking up on Reginald falling asleep, Butch lying awake a bit longer, even lifting his head a little in the dark to stare in Gamma’s direction for a while. Eventually he slept too, leaving just Gamma conscious in the bedroom.

Not the same bedroom. It was a different bedroom now to the one where he had...

It looked the same though. Why had Reginald had to arrange all the furniture in this house so similarly to the one they had occupied before...?

He waited until past midnight, past 1am.

It was finally time.

Gamma floated down, pausing at the bedside with Reginald’s sleeping form facing him.

This was the time Reginald was least likely to awaken. Even Butch took a little more rousing in this state.

Gamma took human form, or a full-sized hologram of it at least.

It wasn’t necessary for the integration he was about to perform.

It was for the kiss he placed on Reginald’s lips before going in.

 

* * *

 

No but, if Butch and Reggie had a kid it'd be adorable. I almost regret not writing one in now, other than the fact they and Gamma might get jealous of each other.

Also, someone draw Reggie with a Gamma tattoo. Imagine all the Freelancers with their AI tattoos, and O'Malley having to carve on into each new host he takes. I like that headcanon.

Anyway, next time, we're back to journal format for a trip into Reggie's mind to find out what _really_ happened back that day in Blood Gulch.


	19. Gamma 19

So, I'm guessing people aren't here for the Butch/Reggie/Gamma stuff?

Anyway, final image-based chapter, everyone. From here on out it's text till the end to give my poor screencap button a rest.

 

Alt link: [Part 1](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/145415091609/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-19-gamma-19)  
[Part 2](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/145415094704/i-wanna-be-myself-again-chapter-19-gamma-19)

* * *

* * *

No, but come on; why would Butch have been standing on that hill getting shot at like that if he was a Freelancer? It’s suspicious if you don’t take it as a joke. Wash and Carolina proved you need to fake your death to escape so...

Not too many chapters left to go now. I’m writing the final few currently. It’ll all be done then...

Next time, conversation time. There are some things that need a little talking about.


	20. Conversations with Living People

Chapter of this title from episode of _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ called 'Conversations with Dead People'. Anyone remember I made Butch quite a fan of that show way back when in story 1 and 2? Seemed neat to throw in a reference again.

 

* * *

 

Butch shut the door behind them and sat on the bed.

Gamma manifested above his external unit resting on Butch’s lap.

“So.” Butch began. “What did you need to get me all alone to talk about? Not that I don’t always appreciate some personal, one-on-one time with my favourite snowflake.” He poked at Gamma’s white light ball form.

Gamma sighed. It still sounded like a CD drive opening for a disk. “I knew that you would call me that.”

“Well, when you’re such a beautiful and fluffy white- I really do wish I could touch you, you know. Reginald always talks about how lovely your fluffiness is, after all.”

“Reggie is joking about that,” Gamma said. “But that is one of the matters that I wish to discuss with you, Butch. I... In the time I had apart from Reggie after I ejected myself, I continued to search for you. I wished to reunite the two of you so Reggie could be happy again. If he would still not integrate with me after that... I began to think about integrating with you, Butch. As I can transfer between systems, I could move between the two of you as you needed me, or time without me. This way I could support you both.” Gamma turned a hopeful magenta. “How would you feel about the prospect?”

“Well, gosh.” Butch leant a hand against the side of his face in faux-shock. “This is all so sudden when you haven’t even bought me dinner yet-”

“If you do not like the idea, you can say.”

Butch’s jovial grin paused. It then faded to something muted, gaze directed away from Gamma. “...Well, I do need you to run that fancy, new armour enhancement you made for me- I’ve been dying to try it out ever since Reggie told me about it, you know.”

“Integration would not be required for me to run the enhancement. I could merely take residence in your armour’s system, although you were not particularly fond of even that before.”

“When did- Oh my. Back when the Mother of Invention crashed? That was so many years ago now!”

“Yet you remain uneasy.”

Butch looked down at him. Not a frown – Butch Flowers never let himself frown at a friend without very good reason – but a face where one should have been. “Now how can you sense that? I don’t even change colour like a certain, little chameleon.”

“You do not need to,” Gamma said. “I know your mind well, Butch, even though I have never been inside.”

Butch’s gaze down on him continued. If AIs could be made awkward by pauses, rather than merely bored by slow human processing, Gamma would have been. “...You’ve spoken to Omega about it, haven’t you?” Butch asked simply.

“He has shared some memory files of his brief time, yes. I am... aware of what I would be getting myself into.”

Butch laughed. It was somehow harsh. “And now tell me; why would you ever want to settle down in a mind like mine then?”

Gamma turned from an anxious green, “Because, although you make me uneasy at times, Butch,” to a loving purple, “that is only because I do not know what is wrong and how to help you. I would like to support you. Not just in battle but in any other ways that I can. We are, in many ways, similar, so Reggie has always remarked. I would understand if you do not want someone in your mind after what you have been through, but if I could help you with it in any wa-” Butch held up a hand.

Gamma fell back to a quiet white.

Another pause as Butch’s slow processor worked. “...How would you help me?” he asked next.

“I would assist in whatever way you wanted me to. As an AI, my purpose is to help humans.”

“Bullshit.”

Butch was grinning again. Gamma had instantly turned a surprise orange but faded quickly back. “Correct. I am Deceit.”

“And I’m very glad you haven’t changed.”

Gamma could read that was a genuine smile. “I would attempt to help you control your memories and thoughts, if possible. I would attempt to help you keep yourself under your own control.”

“And who says I’m not?” Butch seemed amused.

“Reggie’s memories.”

Butch let his current smile stay on as a ghost covering his face.

“I have seen how you have changed outwardly during these past two years,” Gamma continued; “the times you lose your sense of self, the times you struggle now to maintain your chosen presentation as Butch Flowers, your problems of being apart from Reginald because you associate that state with dying.”

“...Well, hasn’t someone been a busy, little snowflake these past few days?” Butch tried to poke at him.

Gamma dodged the finger. “I still do not sleep at night. And Reggie does not mind me investigating while he is performing menial chores throughout the day. He wants me to understand you.”

“Or does he want to understand me?” Butch’s finger continued to chase.

This time Gamma rested on it. “...I have noticed a slight increase in your hostility towards Reggie during unguarded times in his memories. I have also seen you do not wish to treat him that way if you could help it.” Butch sighed, finger wilting. “Why Butch?”

The slender fingers laced contemplatively, providing a rest for Butch’s chin. “...I know he didn’t mean to but Reggie’s made me dependent on him now, you see? I was apart from him for all of six weeks and I died.” He paused. “...I don’t like that. I lived my life on the edge, so near death so often, for two decades. The first person that I open up to, that I allow into my life and let myself depend on... ...He destroyed all of that,” he said distantly. “I changed for Reggie, and it killed me.”

“You do not blame him?” Gamma had to check.

“No, that I certainly don’t,” Butch confirmed with a smile. “I wouldn’t ever blame him for something he didn’t intend and all of the good intentions he did have instead. I simply resent him a little sometimes, Gamma, when I can’t help it. That’s all.”

“...I understand.”

“Then why are you blushing like a tomato?” Butch teased.

Gamma noticed his own red. “I am sad. I am sad that you and Reggie are having problems.”

“Oh, now you don’t need to worry about that. I’ve talked this through with Reggie; he understands.”

Gamma turned a confused lime-green. “I did not find that memory in Reggie’s mind.”

“Well, human minds are messy and terribly disorganised things, you know?”

“Yes, I do.” A little bit of sky blue amusement. “I may be able to help you with that, Butch, with your abandonment issues and trauma.” Butch raised an eyebrow. “Due to the condition of the soldiers of Project Freelancer, we were given basic instruction in dealing with psychological damage to human minds.” Butch snorted now. “Your mind would obviously be far beyond what we were trained for. But Reggie’s mind is also damaged now too.”

“From losing me?”

“In part.” There were memories – Of possessiveness, of obsession over losing Butch again – that Gamma quickly terminated the remembering processes of. “But also from losing me. In any case, I have some experience with what I would be dealing with.”

“If I allow you to.”

Butch returned things to the point.

“I could transfer myself into your implant at any time, Butch. You have continued to wear your data crystal chip.”

Butch’s hand reached for it. It rested over it for now, a cover. “...Perhaps I’ve been thinking about it too,” he said.

“You have?” Baby blue excitement.

“I was. Before I died.” His hand reached for his T-shirt now, tugging down the loose collar.

Γ

That chest as well, other side.

“Now, I wouldn’t like to presume without your word on it,” Butch began, “but you love Reginald, don’t you?”

Gamma blushed brown.

“You wanted to talk to me about that, didn’t you, you little love-bug? Before we derailed it with all this.”

“Butch... I did also want to talk about us.”

“Well, my answer to that is I’d like a little more time right now, if you don’t mind.” Gamma bobbed like a nod. “How about we spend some more time together like this? Or with you installed into my armour?”

“I would like that.”

“Fantastic. And maybe in the future, who knows?” Butch leant in close. “You and Reggie won’t be the only ones having sex.”

Gamma turned so bright he wasn’t any visible colour anymore. Butch chuckled as he winced and covered his eyes.

“Aw, well isn’t that cute?”

“Shut up,” Gamma insisted. “I take after Reggie when it comes to blushing.”

Butch smiled at him a bit longer before saying, “Want me to go fetch him now? I know you have a lot you need to talk to him about too.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

Butch set the AI unit on the bed, walking out with a cluck of his tongue as he mused on if he’d ever heard Gamma say ‘thank you’ before.

How rude. He was simply so superior to shisnos that he had rarely had anything he needed to thank them for before.

Gamma waited.

Eventually he heard the double knock on the door and turned up his volume to say, “Who’s there?”

“Reginald.”

“Reginald coming crawling back to me on his hands and knees?” Gamma asked. “Or did you finally invent a joke for your useless name?”

The door opened in a rather miffed way, letting Reginald in with a tetchy smirk on his face. “Have you been hanging around in that blasted computer terminal again?”

“No, I have-” Gamma stopped as Reginald sat down on the bed in Butch’s place, picking up the AI unit into his lap. “...You know that I am...?”

“A bit rampant?” Reginald said. “Or is it more than a bit now?”

Gamma dimmed a little. “...You have not thought about it since I returned.”

“Had a lot of other things on my mind. Or should I say in it?” Reginald smirked again.

Back to an uneasy green. “Delta hypothesises that integration with a good host may prevent the unravelling process. Or at least delay it. If that is the case... do you mind having me in your mind, Reggie?”

“Not at all, little chap.” He tried to nudge Gamma reassuringly with his finger. “Whatever I can do.”

“Thank you.”

“What about you though?” Reginald asked. “After all I put you through, after leaving you for dead- Well, deleted on that rotten ship.”

“You did not choose to leave me. There was nothing you could have done,” Gamma said. “...You also grieved for me as you did for Butch, even though you had him back. When you heard that I had been EMPed a few months ago.”

“Of course I did.” The same moping around. The same emotional withdrawal and endless memory reliving. “Bit more practised for it this time though, eh?” He hadn’t shut Butch out. He had grieved with him, opened up to him and his family, appreciated the fact that they were still there for him and alive. “Sorry you had to be the dummy run that ended so badly, mate.”

Gamma switched between red and yellow, sad and angry, but settled on plain white. “I am glad that I saved Butch what I went through in his current state.”

“Ah. Yes...”

“And I hurt you as well in compensation, Reggie.”

“Retaliation, Gamma. I hurt you first,” Reginald said, unable to look him in the... Well, in the body. “You did nothing wrong.”

Gamma swivelled about, torn again, but staying white. “...I did. I did when I chose to do something I did not know the full consequences to but could have. You should not have had to suffer...”

Reggie looked back at him, Gamma reflecting as a small twinkle in his eyes. “Look at us; both trying to get all the blame like it’s this season’s fashion.”

“Or hiding behind jokes because we are afraid of scaring people away with our feelings.”

“Right. Yes,” Reginald agreed with a self-deprecating smile. “Serious and honest feelings. No more pussy-footing around it, eh?”

“I do not mind, actually...” Uncertain green.

“You’re not going to scare me away, mate. Why d’you think I offered you my brain again?” Gamma whitened back up. “I... Do you forgive me, Gamma, for the whole palaver before with...?”

Gamma thought. “...I forgive you, Reggie, but I still find it hard to trust again.”

“Same here.” He rubbed at the back of his neck in an old tic.

Green again. Then a spectrum of purple.

Purple tended to be thought-related emotions, spanning from curiosity to nostalgia and daydreaming. Reginald gave him the time, sitting back for a little while and letting his ears tune into the very background noise of the TV on in the main room.

Eventually, “Reggie. May I return to your neural implant?”

“You can stop asking already, you know; it’s your home.”

“Can I also live in Butch’s implant, if I wish?”

“Butch’s...? Di-Did he say that-?”

“If he allows it. He is still undecided,” Gamma said. “Do not worry; his implant would be my second home, purely for tax purposes.”

Reginald chuckled. “All right. I’d miss having you around but if you can do the same for Butch as for me.”

“I would like to hope so.”

For now, Gamma returned to Reginald’s mind. The familiar old sensation by now. He might of likened it to sex; a completeness you only really noticed when it came or left.

Once back inside, Gamma’s thoughts were in computer code again, hiding from Reginald’s part of the mind. Gamma sensed no hostility towards that this time, only a curiosity and patience. Reggie must have been able to sense his thoughts’ emotion even without their content.

“Do you trust me, Reggie?” Gamma manifested again to ask.

“Um, suppose I have to answer yes to that?”

“I would like to test if I can trust you. And perhaps allow you to test if you can trust me.”

“All right,” Reginald agreed tentatively.

“Reggie, I would like you to close your eyes. And to keep them closed until I say so.” Right now they watched him curiously. “I would also like you to keep your hands where I tell you, although I can simply refuse to process tactile sensations for you so that is less important.”

“...All right.” Reginald closed his eyes, sitting up a little more stiffly but comfortably on the side of the bed.

He waited. He felt Gamma doing things in his mind.

Then he felt a new weight on his thighs.

He recognised the weight – Someone else’s thighs – but Butch hadn’t come in. Butch wasn’t quite that weight either; this weight was somehow both heavier and lighter than Butch.

It wasn’t a real weight.

“Gamma?”

“Do not look.” The voice was right in front of him, head-height. Still sounded the same. Just from an odd place.

Reginald nodded.

He flinched a little when something touched his face, his cheek. A soft, nervous hand. The hand then poked at the eyebrow raising slightly over eyes that were looking in that direction even if they couldn’t see.

Gamma’s hand settled on the side of his face.

“...You’re human right now?”

“I am manifesting in my human form currently, yes.”

A little bit of a shiver went through Reginald. He didn’t really know why until he felt Gamma pulling it apart; a strand of excitement, a strand of curiosity, a strand of arousal. Gamma held on particularly to that one, examining it until Reginald was really getting rather embarrassed about it.

It all slipped away when he felt the lips on his.

More than the kiss at the beach, if that had been one. These lips stayed; they felt like any other human’s lips. Bit cool, bit dry maybe but not chapped. Just a little synthetic, the sensation slightly lacking the awkward, imprecise aspects of saliva and taste.

Gamma tasted clearly like black cherries.

_“What do you think of when you taste black cherries, Reggie?”_

_“Losing that baby tooth on one when I was 6. First time I remember something lying to me.”_

He smiled into the kiss.

It felt different to Butch, Reginald reflected as Gamma pulled away. A lot of the tiniest details were missing, the things too hard to recreate for his senses without too much work. But there were no mistakes either, no problems of two autonomously moving bodies struggling to coordinate when it was just one and controlled sensory input. Gamma delivered all the best bits and the complete absence of tiny quirks was his own tiny quirk.

Gamma was buzzing quite excitably in his mind. He was very happy.

Reggie still hadn’t opened his eyes.

He asked about his hands though when Gamma returned for a second kiss, trying out some deeper sensations this time but not quite into tongues. Gamma let him touch in certain places, only his body but not the most intimate parts. Reginald catalogued everything he could feel as they kissed, seeking all the things his eyes couldn’t tell him.

Gamma was about Butch’s height and build, bit more masculine maybe, dressed in fabrics Gamma didn’t seem too keen on sharing in high-quality. Only that they felt good and cool over his firm body, something like trousers, a buttoned-shirt and something on top.

His face did most of the rest of the feeling, the slim-fingered and soft hand holding his earthat somehow said ‘computer nerd’ to him. A small nose resting against the left side of his, glasses, no facial hair he could feel, no hair long enough to feel against his face except some sort of odd, high fringe that sometimes brushed his. Gamma was still keeping himself mostly secret.

He was finally sharing something.

_“Why do you always hide from me, love?”_

Gamma’s kissing sensations went a little haywire. _“I... did not like my appearance for a long time. In our mind, I would have been unable to disguise it. I did not want you to think less of me for it.”_

_“I would have tried not to, you know.”_

_“You would have failed. It was awful.”_

_“Oh?”_ Bit of amusement.

Bit of embarrassment. _“...I had bowtie and sweatervest. I had frizzy, curly hair and buckteeth. Thankfully, I have grown out of it all now.”_

_“Really? Sounds like a right shame that.”_

Gamma pulled the kissing sensation away.

“Sorry,”Reginald forced himself to apologise, trying not to laugh. “Just wondering where you got that lot from.”

“I could not say. But you are right to liken me more to Butch now; I look like a combination of you two.”

“Disappointed about that?”

“No.”

Reginald waited. “Can I open my eyes yet?”

“I am still not quite ready. Give me some more time.”

“Whatever you need, mate.”

“Thank you.” The weight disappeared on his lap. He could open his eyes now.

“Ready to go find out whatever bizarre sitting position Butch has managed to adopt now?” Reginald asked, picking up the little light ball in one hand.

“Yes. I am.”

 

* * *

 

Ha, yeah, Gamma's old human form in my design is adorably awful. The worst kind of silly-looking stand-up comic. He's much happier with his now.

Oh look. A chapter count appeared too! Just to give you an idea of what's left to come.

Next time, the effects and results of things discussed this chapter between Gamma and his two hosts- Did I say two hosts? I wonder why I said that...


	21. Out of Sight, Into Mind

TW for seizure-like symptoms this chapter. Not sure if that's something one needs to warn for but it can't hurt.

 

* * *

 

Butch twanged the newly-set wire for luck – Although not hard enough to detonate it of course – and set off round the side of the building out of sight.

Crouched there, “In position yet?” he radioed.

“ _Yes, yes,_ ” Reginald replied from the other end. “ _Front exit covered. Commence your little killing spree already._ ”

“ _They have moved to the West side window. I would move now,_ ” Gamma also added.

Butch moved up swiftly, into position alongside the wall. “Ready?”

“I hate taking orders from my time-clone,” Gamma said from inside his armour. “That guy makes my current flow the wrong way.”

Butch allowed himself a chuckle. “I thought you were the time-clone.”

“...I forget.”

“Is that deliberately?”

“Activating spatial distortion unit,” Gamma said, enjoying all the readouts of Butch’s body getting into position for the attack.

Butch crouched by the wall outside the building.

Then Butch crouched by the wall inside the building. His target was right in front of him, stood too proudly at the window surveying the world.

They didn’t even have time to gasp, unless you counted their broken spine severing their windpipe and throat with a wheezy rush of air pressure.

“Target eliminated,” Butch radioed.

“ _Good show, mate. All clear for evacuation._ ”

“Roger.” Butch moved rapidly.

Too rapidly for Gamma to both perceive the tea lady and warn Butch in his internal earpiece before the door had already been opened into her cart on the other side. She might not have made a sound but her toppling cart sure did, all those poor pastries going sadly to waste as Butch leapt over them, making a dash in any direction before space suddenly bent, bringing two parts to the same point and transferring Butch over between them. He was now looking at the backs of two running men.

“Attack!”

He caught his stumble and used it to pounce from all fours onto them, his knives instinctively finding a lethal spot on each before he was back on the floor-

“Upstairs!”

-assuming the stairs were behind him and leaping up them before he even knew what was there. Luckily his boots landed on the edge of one step to take him quickly up the rest. He didn’t know how high to climb, just going until he was told to stop.

The stop never came. Just the bending of space again, stronger this time. Two far points bunched up into one around him, everything between them swelling out like a bent panorama all around, until the sudden snap of being deposited on the second and everything straightening back out.

Reginald looked up from his sniper scope unruffled. “Some sort of problem?”

“No, just a couple of extra kills for the scoreboard!” Butch shook his head and laughed, trying to get the headrush from teleporting too large a distance to pass. “Gosh, think we can head home now though?”

Reginald began packing up and shouldered his rifle. “Need a break already? My, you’re getting as old as me.”

“Heavens, no! I just spilt some lovely pastries by accident and now I’m feeling a little peckish, that’s all; you know how hungry killing makes me!”

“And horny,” both Gammas said in sync, facing off between their hosts before merging back into one.

“Guess I’ll have to help with that one,” Reginald said, taking the one Gamma that integrated back into him now.

Butch just hummed briefly.

~#~

Back at home, the mission done, just waiting on the client to get confirmation of the kill so they could get paid. That would probably be tomorrow. Tonight was just the usual, simple celebration of another good job well done.

Since they were only really in the bounty hunting/mercenary industry now for the thrill and exercise – and so Reginald could pay his own way through life rather than mooching off his family – this was the only part they really cared about celebrating anyway.

No drinks. No party. Just lying on the sofa together, Butch’s head in Reginald’s lap, nice, big chocolate-chip cookie to eat, something from Gamma’s vast media collection on the TV-

Not that Gamma and Reggie were particularly attentive to it, laughing at all the wrong moments with Reginald’s gaze on Gamma and the AI floating around at conversation-height in front of his face. Butch watched them, letting his current chocolate chip just melt away in his mouth. Gamma was bobbing around particularly happy now, a buzzy, little snowflake-like bee while Reggie laughed.

“Gamma,” Butch began, interrupting; “what happened during today’s mission-”

“I am sorry, Butch.” Gamma sunk a bit.

“Now, that wasn’t what I was going to say. You did a fine job. I shouldn’t have been in such a hurry just because the kill was too easy.” The AI waited on him to speak his point then. “...What happened,” Butch said, “...It wouldn’t have happened if we were integrated, right?”

“No. There would not have been the delay in communication that led to those problems.”

“I thought not.” Butch turned his eyes back to the ceiling.

“Butch?” Gamma floated down closer to his face. Butch was smiling lovingly at him, and even offered him some cookie. “I do not even have a mouth now, Strawhead; what do you expect me to do with that?” he asked dryly.

“You could taste it if you were integrated with me.”

Gamma turned quite a little half-rainbow, from the confused end of lime green through to a surprised turquoise and into the various happy tones of blue.

“Butch. You’re ready to...?” Reginald asked.

“Well, it’s been long enough.” Butch smiled. “We’ve done enough dating now with you kicking around in my armour, wouldn’t you say?” He bobbed Gamma on his finger even though he couldn’t feel the AI. Not yet at least. “I’d say it’s time to take things to the next level so we don’t have another repeat of today.” He looked between Reginald and Gamma too.

“You’re ready too?” Reginald asked Gamma.

“Of course.” Gamma couldn’t stop being blue. “It will require some time tonight, and some preparations to be made. We do not have the proper facilities and medical interventions for an ideal integration but I can do it safely nonetheless.”

“That’s all I ask,” Butch said.

“It will still be painful, Butch,” Gamma warned. “Have you ever been electrocuted before?”

Butch just laughed. “Of course!”

“Well, due to your light sleeping habits and the lack of safe sedation techniques we have available, you will likely have to be conscious for the integration; the first time is different to re-integration.” Butch was still smiling and nibbling away on the last of his cookie. “I can do it slowly over a few hours of low pain, or quickly over a few minutes of high pain.”

“Quickly will be fine; wouldn’t want to waste your precious time after all.”

“It will be like having a seizure, although it is totally safe,” Gamma warned again.

“Oh, seizures aren’t too bad!” Butch chuckled.

“Is there any medical affliction or problem that you have not had?” Gamma asked dryly.

Butch thought about it. “Only housemaid’s knee. And maybe tennis elbow; I’ve never really been one for tennis.”

“Oh boy. Living in you is going to be great...”

~#~

He didn’t even wait until bedtime – “As if I’d want to sleep through this!” Butch had said practically chuckling – or take anything to numb the pain. His normal aloe vera pain relief gels wouldn’t help with this today, and an internal painkiller like aspirin was obviously out of the question. Not even any sleeping pills; apparently they didn’t work on him any longer.

Yet Butch seemed the least worried.

Reginald was in second place, unaware of the full extent this could go to.

Gamma won, already an uneasy green at the thought of what he was about to do. Butch was lying so calmly beneath him, supine, arms folded comfortably over his lower stomach, just smiling up. And here was Gamma floating around above him about to-

“Ready?” Reginald asked, uneasy at a slightly different prospect.

“Yes,” Gamma had to admit.

“Well, then what are you waiting for?” Butch hummed. “I think I signed the liability waiver for just about everything when I joined good, old Project Freelancer.”

Using humour to cover his anxiety; another perfect host.

It wasn’t the physical pain Butch was worried about though. Gamma didn’t know whether to be relieved about that, to have a small grace period before all hell would really break loose, or not.

But no more waiting. Butch was tapping on his chest already.

Gamma settled on the black ink there ready. Butch would have felt a small kiss there if they had been integrated. Gamma made a note to make it up to him with one after.

Reginald watched from the edge of the bed, not too close, as Gamma disappeared.

Butch’s eyes were looking around, waiting.

His fingers wiggled-

Then they went very stiff.

The stillness was eerier but safe. The look on Butch’s face, the new rhythm of his breathing; those of a person experiencing extreme panic, pain, trying very hard not to show it.

Butch’s chest began to rise a little more. The muscles around his eyes and mouth became a little too tense.

He started to tremble. He started to grimace.

He started to crack.

It was that noise again; so much anguish. A whimpered howl, a growled scream.

Reginald’s hands flinched, flexed. He stayed on the edge. He just watched as Butch started to thrash and writhe, grabbing at the sheets and kicking out. He only moved slightly to avoid one particularly close lash, letting Butch continue to thrash it out on the bed.

He sat by, not looking away in case there stopped being nothing he could do.

Uncovered bed, pillow under his head, no clothes aside from boxers to avoid constriction; they had prepared Butch to have a fucking seizure and here he was.

He was having it.

And Reginald was just sitting by it.

He didn’t even try to imagine what was going on inside all that thrashing and noise. He just tried not to remember how easy it had been falling into and out of the sedation, what he had experienced instead of... Instead of-

Reginald finally had to intervene. Butch had finally lost the ability to comply with the one instruction he had been given and had begun attacking his own body, his head, because of the pain. Reginald held his arms away from it, letting Butch writhe as much as he needed to aside from that one thing.

How much longer?

He tried looking at the clock. He needed to keep too much attention on Butch.

That made it too much longer. Holding the jerking spasms of Butch’s arms was almost too tiring. Struggling, his loose hair a mess everywhere, you could actually hear Butch swearing under his breath amidst the noise of his body jerking around.

There was no warning.

Butch, still breathing, fell still.

~#~

Same place. Just as Omega had described; an ever-shifting nightmare composed of all the backdrops to Butch’s life. All dark and damaged in some way.

The only difference – It was even more kaleidoscopic a mess now than the memory files he had once seen.

“I find it rather fun,” Gamma turned to the voice; “never know where you’ll step foot next!”

Butch, or his internal avatar at least. “You joined me in here fast. You have strong mental control, despite...” Gamma looked around.

“Well, I don’t like to boast but I have had to be a fast learner in my time, you know,” Butch said.

“Why can’t I see you? Show yourself!”

And there was little-Butch too, hiding behind the adult-Butch and glaring out.

“Hello, Gabriel,” Gamma tried.

“Fuck off! I don’t trust you...”

Butch chuckled. “I’m sorry. I’m afraid you’ll just have to get used to that for a while. I’m hoping I can come to trust you a little better after some more time.” Gamma nodded. “I do make a good point though; it’s like I’m constantly looking at you out the corner of my eye.” He tried turning a little sideways. “Does it cancel out if I actually do?” Butch mused humourfully.

“The mind’s eye does not have corners,” Gamma said. “I am still uncomfortable about letting even Reggie see me, but I am working on it.” He could see his own hands when he looked down at them but knew also the blurry, imprecision projection he was showing to other minds. “I need time to trust you as well.”

“Won’t trust you till you do...” Gabriel hid a bit more.

Butch didn’t bother apologising. He never expected it of anyone else to apologise for what they couldn’t help. “So!” He clapped his mental-hands. “How did the integration go? Or am I dead now and back in heaven?”

“Wasn’t heaven- Won’t go back- Wasn’t heaven- Won’t go back-”

Butch pushed Gabriel a little further behind him this time, actually looking awkward for once as he laughed. “Still working a little on that too, I’m afraid.”

“That is fine. I will not touch the memories or thoughts until you wish it,” Gamma replied. “As for the integration, it was a success. Your mind is complicated, different to Reggie’s – There are many more interlinks in yours between different areas – but I will learn my way around.”

“Splendid! If I can help you around in any way-”

“Get out already! I’m scared... Don’t like it...”

Butch paused a moment. “-then don’t hesitate to ask! Not that I know my way around myself all that well.”

“I am not surprised...” Gamma looked around again. “I will leave at any time you wish.” A small head poked back out a bit, still wary. “Is there anything you would like me to begin work on?”

“Now, now. Work already?” Butch tutted. “Come take a seat. Let’s have some good, old bonding time, what d’you say?”

Gamma answered by coming to sit beside Butch’s chosen spot. It was a gnarled, lightning-burnt tree stump when he started sitting down. It was a broken, metal stool by the time he was sat. He looked uneasily at it but made no mental-comment. Instead, “I have noticed something.”

Gabriel hid a bit more from being noticed.

“In my brother’s memories, your natural self was always sitting up on something like a shelf.” Now he was always clinging to the back of Butch’s shirt, never more than a step behind. “Mindscapes are metaphorically representative of your psychology, Butch.”

Butch sighed. He chuckled as always. “He’s certainly a lot closer to the surface now all of the time. If I ever falter, my good, little buddy always speaks up for me.” He fussed Gabriel’s messy, dirty-blonde hair.

“You struggle to keep up the persona of Butch Flowers all the time now.” A nod. “I have... noticed that even when you do, you can be more quiet and negative these days.”

“...Yes.”

“If you would like help restraining that part of your self-”

“I knew it! You’re gonna’ change me! You’re gonna’ fucking control me and turn me into-!”

Gabriel calmed when Butch placed a hand back on his head. “No thank you, Gamma. We may have our differences, I may have tried to reject that part of me, but I have no intentions of getting rid of him any longer. Now that we’re closer once again...”

Gamma heard the thoughts Butch couldn’t quite word:

_Did the right soul come back?_

_Am I really me?_

_Who am I?_

_Am I just an act? A fake?_

_Is that the real me? Or a leftover of trauma?_

_Should I try to become one?_

_I just want to be able to be myself again._

“I understand, Butch.”

Butch spooked. But then he smiled. “Boy, that sure is nifty you can just hear everything I think.”

“Fucking creepy. Don’t like it...”

“I do not mind that part of you,” Gamma looked at Gabriel. “From being in Reggie’s mind, I can tell you that he does not mind that part either-”

“Liar. You’re just a liar,” Gabriel spat. “Reggie hates me. He just wants me to be Butch. Butch is the one he fell in love with. Butch isn’t a messed-up piece of shit and he hates me when I am one.”

“You can tell if I am lying now,” Gamma said.

Gabriel said nothing.

“Reggie does not just want Butch Flowers,” Gamma continued. “I gave him Butch Flowers. It did not satisfy him. He wants reality now.”

“What do you mean you gave him me?” Butch asked in amusement.

Gamma uncompressed the memory files to share.

He barely got through two before he could feel the shock, the sorrow, and the disgust and fear. “...Reggie had you... pretend to be me?” Butch managed to ask.

Those were only files from the middle too, not where it had gotten to by the end. “There is a lot that you do not know about Reggie, about the things that happened between us, and about me,” Gamma said. “You will not be the only one putting yourself out there scared of having your trust broken.”

Butch looked down at Gamma’s hand held out to him. He was able to see that one part clearly; a pale-skinned hand but more slender like his than Reggie’s.

“Long ago, Butch,” Gamma continued, “you told Reggie that you trust him with all your lies. You meant that you trusted him with the fragile person beneath your act, the true feelings you were hiding.  
But you lied. You did not trust him with all of them. You do not even trust him now with all of this.  
If you ask me not to share something with Reggie, I will endeavour not to. Anything else I may share at any time. The same with his thoughts and feelings with you. And there is one final thing; I am currently working on a way that I can be integrated with both of your minds at once. If I succeed, your minds would be integrated as well; you and Reggie would hear all of each other’s thoughts. And mine.”

Butch was still just looking at the hand.

“We are all liars, Butch. That is why the three of us are together.  
You could not have been more right that the ultimate sign of love between us is to trust each other with our lies.  
Now,” Gamma asked, “are you finally prepared to do that?”

Gamma’s hand waited.

It listened to all the thoughts, the memories.

It waited.

A light brown hand joined it.

And then a smaller one of the same colour.

 

* * *

 

Boy, I'm referencing some old stuff here and there in this chapter. I wonder if everyone still remembers it... I'm surprised I remembered some of it!

So, if you don't follow my Tumblr to know then I have now finished writing this whole story. All the chapters are done, just waiting to upload them now over the next two Saturdays.

Next time, let's see how Gamma and Butch have been getting along, and Gamma has something to show us.


	22. I Can See Clearly Now

“So, what do you reckon then?” Butch asked.

“I reckon your memory is too unclear for me to translate,” Gamma said. “You have not remembered the proper intonation on the ‘honk’; it sounds like ‘Chicken-wear disorder’.”

“Well, I’m pretty sure I didn’t die of that...” Butch mused. “That... bomb-”

“Fucking racist, sexist, explosive piece of crap...”

“-said ‘Civil War Disorder’, if that’s of any help.”

“I am not a medically trained AI,” Gamma shook his head, “and while I may therefore be medically superior to DuFresne-”

“Reggie-stealing hippie!”

“-it would be better to ask one of my brothers. From your memories, however, I would imagine it was a combination of stress, grief and not enough sugar.”

Butch clucked. “You see! I told Reggie I have a very high recommended daily intake of sugar.”

“Only because you eat far too much normally. Your body could not adjust to the loss.”

Butch mused on that. He just smiled about it though. “So. How’s that three-way integration coming along?” he asked instead.

“I am still working on it. I theorise it will likely be possible, however.”

“Well, that’s just fantastic,” Butch chuckled. “Although,” looking around his mindscape they were sat in once again, “I really should do some Spring Cleaning in here before Reggie starts dropping by for visits...”

“It is not possible to- Whatever,” Gamma gave up. “You would find a way.”

They sat quietly for a moment. While both still had thoughts, in two weeks they had learnt how to tune each other’s out as if they were their own.

“...Would it be possible to fix this place, Gamma?” Butch asked, suddenly quite serious- Or as serious as he tended to get.

“Your mindscape is representational. Whether your mind could be fixed enough to alter the basic nature of it... No.”

“Didn’t think so.” Butch accepted with a smile.

“I like it...” Gabriel added, clinging to Butch’s arm.

“It has a certain... charm,” Gamma said.

“You think it’s weird,” Gabriel blurted out. “But you’re not scared of it anymore at least...”

“It is you.”

“Oh, but am _I_ me?” Butch added in a let’s-pretend-to-be-philosophical voice. “I still don’t...”

“You still do not feel like yourself?” Gamma checked, despite already knowing. “Your physical symptoms have alleviated somewhat. You no longer have such a strong recurrence of the symptoms you died from when apart from Reggie.”

“That’s only when I have you in my mind, good buddy.” Butch patted his AI on the shoulder and laughed. “Dying sure was a once-in-a-lifetime experience, I tell you!”

“And you are still using humour to avoid confronting the remaining issues.”

“Says you!” Gabriel added, pulling the sides of his mouth out with his middle fingers.

Talking about how it was like floating in a big glass of milk, how, gosh, it’s no surprise people forget being born if it’s anything like coming back to life. At least Butch was finally sharing what he believed the afterlife was, or the one he had been to at least. Even if he believed it’d be different for each person depending on what they needed, the fact he had been taken to somewhere he could relive out his memories until he faded away...

Okay, he was still working out what that meant for his life while alive but-

“Butch?”

“Oh, sorry. Silly me,” Butch shook his head. “Clogging up the mind with tangents again...”

“You are still scared to be yourself?” Gamma retuned straight to the centre of the topic.

They had tried to tackle this many times. “I’m still scared of... of how Reggie might react, of how everyone who knows me would react. Wouldn’t I seem like a worse person? There’s a reason I made Butch Flowers, after all.” He held Gabriel tighter and Gabriel held tighter to him. “And who would I be if we were one? I’m so used to myself as these two parts that...” There weren’t any words after that. Just anxieties and doubts.

No wonder more negativity was leaking out these days when there was so much more inside.

“Well, what about you?” Butch asked, tone turning cheerfully on Gamma. “I still feel like I’m going to need to make some special mind-glasses to see you soon.”

Gamma moved uncomfortably, the movements obvious even if his appearance still wasn’t.

“Afraid to be yourself too?” Butch teased good-naturedly.

“Not if Reggie shaves his moustache, as we wagered,” Gamma folded his arms. “Until then, I am taking my time.”

“Your sweet time, yeah!”

“And what’d be so wrong about showing us your no-doubt very attractive face, hm?” Butch asked.

Gamma twiddled his thumbs. He used binary to hide his thoughts but he could already hear Gabriel growling about that. “...It has been so long. It feels as if I have built up too much mystique to show you now.”

Butch just laughed.

“I will not live up to it. ...I see your approximations of me; they are not very accurate.”

“Well, you’re a little stingy about clues, if you don’t mind me saying,” Butch said anyway.

“You only gave ‘em to Reggie...”

Gamma tried to think. He really couldn’t come up with anything, and Butch could hear it. “...I suppose I have just always acted in this way. And to change feels...”

“Unlike you. Even when it’s a change to be more like you.”

“Yes.”

They sat in shared idiocy and fear together.

Then Reggie calling for the table to be set dragged them back out of their mind.

Butch grabbed the cutlery and bustled about. Gamma floated around his head, chattering on about music and Butch’s new shirt. Reginald stayed out of the very camp discussion; he definitely knew now why Gamma had not been assigned to Butch during Project Freelancer. Lord, those two never shut up. He just wanted to eat in peace, if they couldn’t talk about something non-embarrassing. He definitely didn’t want Gamma hopping into his mind to spill his real thoughts on Butch’s new shirt, then hopping back with his latest sexual fantasy in tow. The other two chuckled together, schemed together – He’d get his own back tonight – but Butch did kiss him sorry and also thank you at the end of the meal, followed by Gamma kissing him for the same.

Kissing a little ball of light just wasn’t the same though.

Not for any of them.

~#~

“Well, perhaps we could make good use of them tonight,” Butch suggested. “Waste not, want not, and all!”

“You’d find a way to use bloody golf clubs or a Newton’s cradle in bed if we brought one back from a mission...”

“Newton’s cradles do make excellent timing devices for short, exponentially decreasing intervals-”

“Bloody hell...”

“-and golf clubs do look a lot like-” Butch was cut off by a hand held up.

Reginald’s sniper’s eye had spotted someone ahead. “Who’s that?”

Butch looked around the larger man in front of him, casually regarding the stranger loitering outside their house. “Client perhaps?” They didn’t tend to come to them though. “Gamma?”

“I am unable to scan him,” Gamma reported from Reginald’s implant. “He does not possess any technological devices.”

“In this day and age?” they pondered.

Reginald used his phone, the zoom and then the camera.

It took a clear picture; male-looking, around 20. Slim build and average height. Pale skin but dark hair in an outrageous yet styled mohawk. It fitted with the piercings all round his ears and one in his nose. The smart glasses on his face fitted with the smart, white, high-collared shirt and black waistcoat he had on.

“Arrogant nerd-punk,” Reginald judged.

“I think he looks like a charming, intelligent young man,” Butch decided.

“You would...”

Whilst hardly the best neighbourhood, it was still a neighbourhood and not somewhere a person started trouble unless they wanted the whole street to come out and bring their own trouble to the party.

They approached in their normal clothes, hands on concealed weapons, as nonchalantly as possible.

The stranger only looked up when they drew very close.

“Ah, can we help you, old chap?” Reginald began.

The stranger just smiled at them. He really had very blue eyes.

“Are you lost?”

He shook his head.

“You, er, need something from us?”

Again, no.

“Well, what are you here for then?” Reginald’s suspicion was starting to make him a little testy.

Butch placed a hand on his partner’s arm, stepping forward to stand toe-to-toe with the stranger. Face-to-face as well at their heights. The stranger was leant casually back against their wall, sleeves rolled up, smart black jeans, enjoying the sun today.

Butch put a knife through him.

“Butch! What the blood...!”

Blood...

There was no blood. Not even a registering of pain.

The stranger just looked down at the knife embedded in his stomach, seeming almost amused by it.

Butch looked amused too, going by his grin. “Well, hello, Gamma. It’s nice to finally see you.”

Gamma looked at Butch. He looked at the knife again. “Hello. It is nice to receive such a warm greeting, finally.”

Butch put the knife away now. Reginald was still trying to deal with- “Gamma? But you’re...” He was solid to the touch, at least to Reginald.

“I am a hologram of my human form. I am letting you pretend to feel me as with-”

“You’re a bloody punk! How, of all things, did I manage to raise a punk?!”

Gamma’s folding of his arms became more confrontational suddenly. “Do you have a problem with my appearance, shisno?”

Reginald laughed, gesturing up and down. “Where to start? The piercings probably, for one.”

Butch was examining them close up with sight – They really were some lovely earrings all around both shells – while Gamma stood up properly to Reginald. “Do you have a problem with my piercings?”

“Well, yes! You’d be a bloody mess if you ever walked past a strong enough magnet to- Mmph!”

“Ooh! Well, isn’t that a lovely sight to finally see?” Butch commented, standing back to watch Reginald finally get a proper kiss from Gamma.

One that Gamma pulled back from after a long half a minute, stuck out his pierced tongue, and asked, “Do you have a problem with my piercings?” once again.

“E-Er...” Reginald was still spinning, and blushing. “No. I... I guess they have their charm.”

“Good. Stupid shisno...” Gamma went over to their front door. “One of you open this for me. I want to finally have sex already, now that I can.”

Butch eagerly trotted over to let them all in, dragging Reginald with him. “Good Lord...” His head still hadn’t ceased spinning.

~#~

“Teenagers these days...” Reginald muttered, staring at the dim blue light illuminating Gamma from his holographic phone.

“Oh, leave him be, Reggie,” Butch tutted. “He’s busy.”

Reginald frowned at the one lover tucked in his arms, head on his chest, and the other one sat up beside him in bed on his phone despite being just a big hologram. “With what?” Gamma glanced slightly at him, out of the side of his too blue and too bright eyes. Reginald rolled his eyes as he got a mental answer; Gamma was doing more design work on integrating all three of them at once based on what he had learnt this evening. “Can’t you do that while we’re asleep, mate?”

“That would entail I intend to let you sleep tonight,” Gamma responded, looking at them properly to smirk.

Well, Butch at least sounded pleased about that from his chuckle. Reginald just palmed a hand over his face. “So this feels good, does it now?” Butch checked, stroking one hand over Gamma’s bare thigh.

Despite not being integrated, “Yes,” contact on the edge of his hologram felt nice.

“But not this?” Butch put his hand through Gamma’s thigh.

“No. It is not pleasant to have physical matter inside of me.”

“You liked Reggie’s cock inside you.” Gamma glitched a little. Butch laughed. “Oh, well look at that! You change colour in this form too!”

“Shut up, shisno.” Gamma overrode his blush-program quickly.

“You going to be done any time soon, dear boy?” Reginald prodded at Gamma, enjoying the weird sensations Gamma tried to give him in order to keep him out of his hologram. “Since you intend to keep us up all night and all that.”

“Soon. I am processing as fast as I can.”

“And how’s the design going?” Butch asked, trying to dissuade Reginald from being so mean to the AI.

“I estimate it will be finished in a month or two,” Gamma said, “if you will allow me to implement it.”

A three-way integration. Not just Gamma in both of their minds at once, but their two human minds in each other at once.

They were both mature enough to accept they had negative thoughts about each other sometimes, and that they would have to open up many memories and thoughts they didn’t ever want anyone seeing as the cost for this. After some initial adjustment, hopefully, they could become accustomed to it though. They could, at last, share the final pieces.

They were liars, right back to everything that had gone unsaid during Project Freelancer, that Frank or Gamma had heard first, that Butch still hadn’t told even now or Gamma had kept encoded in binary.

They lied to everyone else they knew; a silly voice, a constant smile or no face at all, and all of the jokes.

They lied to themselves, that they were okay even when they were so fragile inside, fine about the missions they were sent on and the things they had to do, about whom they loved and wanted to be with.

They had lied that things would be fine when they left Project Freelancer and went their separate ways, that one day they would reunite and everything would be normal, just like before. That Butch could survive anything, that Reginald would wait for him and never love anyone else and that Gamma was fine just being the AI and following whatever the humans wanted.

So.

Time to stop lying?

“You’ve both... already seen enough of the self I never wanted to be,” Butch said, pushing his loose hair back from his face. “I thought you had saved me from it, from having to be that same old way any longer, but you couldn’t help me.” He shook his head. “You could only help me be myself, and I’d say that’s a much better thing in the end.”

“I’ve screwed you both over, fighting over me, and with me,” Reginald said, his face too awkward not to rub a tired hand on. “Now I think you’re both in closer cahoots than I’ve ever been with either of you. And closer to me as well. I’m just... very thankful for all your forgiveness, for all the times I’ve hurt you both and left you behind, that you still both did so much to come back to me.”

“You waited for me. You accept me as human.” Gamma made the hologram of his phone disappear. “Even though I am going rampant. Even though I am just a fragment that should be probably be reunited in the Meta. Because of you two, I have been able to develop a self to be, instead of just being a lie. Thank you.”

“Ready for it then?” Reginald asked, beckoning him down to sprawl all over him like Butch already was.

Yes, as Gamma settled down on him; they were.

 

* * *

 

And Gamma **_finally_ ** shows himself, evasive little blueberry/snowflake! If you want to see a bit better, I actually did a drawing of [my Gamma facecanon a while back which can be found here.](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/132493838084/reposting-this-because-on-second-thoughts-i-feel) I love my little punk nerd :3

 

One more chapter to go, folks. I really can't believe it either. I wish I could post it now I'm so excited but, for one final time-

Next time, a phone call to old friends, Gamma's final diary entry

And something rather special.


	23. These Tales We've Told

Okay, so I technically lied in a tiny way about the chapter count and there being no more images - Gamma would be proud - This is the final chapter but there's one more that's a sort of epilogue done in a different format too. This is it though story-wise. We've come to the end, folks.

There's a hyperlink in this chapter, in Theta's part. It's optional, to give you a better idea of what the being they're discussing looks like. Don't click it till you get there.

 

[Alt link for the pictures](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/146810529274)

* * *

 

“They are... _interesting_ ,” Delta decided, very tentatively.

“I like them!” Theta said.

**“And I still want to kill them all!”**

“O’Malley!”

Gamma laughed at his end, hovering by the phone as his brothers gave their latest report on the Blood Gulchers.

**“Oh please! Do you remember what the pink one said the other day when we said no cake needs that much edible glitter?”**

“Well, Donut’s just...” Frank tried to say.

“What did he say?” Gamma prompted.

**“Ugh. He said “Donut is ‘Don’t’ with a ‘U’ for ‘Don’t you go there, Sister!””**

“Yeah...” Frank sighed. “He cocked his hips and did a snappy finger wag and everything...”

Gamma laughed again. So did Theta on the other end. “If you think that is bad,” Gamma said, “you should try living in Butch’s mind.”

“Did I hear my name?” Butch’s voice came through from the other room.

“No,” Gamma turned up his volume to reply, then back down. “My sensors do not detect he has superior to average hearing; I do not know how he does that.”

“I am interested in your idea of three-way integration, Gamma,” Delta brought things back on a more sensible topic; “you say it has been successful now?”

“Yes. I am now able to integrate with both Reggie and Butch’s mind simultaneously if they are within two metres of each other.” Gamma turned a proud blue for the video link. “It also integrates their minds as well. That took longer to adjust but it has settled now to a point where it is at least functional.”

“Have you used it in combat situations yet?” Delta asked.

“Not yet. As Reggie is a sniper, they are not often within range during combat anyway. We use it for more personal reasons.”

O’Malley laughed. **“Do you mean threesomes, my brother?”**

“O’Malley! Ew. You’ll upset Theta!”

“It’s okay,” a little voice said.

“More of that sort,” Gamma said, moving on. “Anyway. What about your hosts?”

**“He’s been tolerable. I suppose...”**

“Hey!”

“There has been little change between Omega and Medical Officer DuFresne,” Delta reported, taking over. “I imagine you are enquiring more as to Theta and myself.” Gamma bobbed a yes as the video at the other end moved round from Frank’s face to the two little holograms sitting on the table. “Personally, I have not yet found a host that I consider compatible enough to integrate with. Until then, I would rather remain a single, independent unit.”

 **“Ah yes,”** O’Malley tilted the phone back to his face momentarily. **“The calculator _chooses_ to remain single**.”

“There is nothing less valid about such a lifestyle choice, Omega,” Delta asserted, the camera back on them.

“What about those two Reds you liked?” Theta asked, seated on one of Frank’s stress balls.

“I had considered integration with Private Simmons and/or Grif,” Delta admitted. “Private Simmons would benefit from help in decision-making and logical feedback on his actions to improve his confidence and self-esteem. Private Grif, meanwhile, has displayed some of the most... unusual applications of logic that I have yet witnessed. While often insubordinate and hedonistically-driven, his application of logic in instances where he wishes to avoid activity of any kind are inventive, and often beyond what my more traditional program can create.”

“I think they’d make good hosts for you,” Theta suggested, kicking his legs on the ball.

“Perhaps. I have yet to interact with them directly; the simulation troopers are unaware of our existence and presence with Medical Officer DuFresne. That has not been hard to achieve, considering the attention they pay to him.”

“Yeah, it sucks...” came from off-screen.

“It is possible direct interaction may show a side that I could more compatibly integrate with,” Delta continued. “And considering their near-constant close proximity to each other, your method of three-way integration may be suitable for such an arrangement.”

“What about you, Theta?” Gamma asked, watching his little brother pretending to struggle at balancing on the stress ball while standing up.

“Oh! Yeah! Can you show Gam my new host, Frank?” he asked, looking up in Frank’s direction.

“Sure thing!” The camera moved, lifting from the table area to walk over to a corner of the room. Something fluffy was on the floor, a sort of donut shape. Something furry was curled up in the middle of it.

Theta appeared on the side of the donut, rocking side-to-side happily. “This is Allie. She’s only a couple of weeks old now so her mind’s still developing but the neural implant collar I’ve designed looks like it works. Allie!” Theta called, then whistled.

Small ears tried to perk up but could only floppily swivel instead. Her head lifted straight up though, barking and then nosing joyfully at Theta.

“Is it a cushion?” Gamma asked. “I think that it needs washing.”

“It’s [a German Shepherd puppy](http://vonjagenstadt.com/pups/Mikka%20&%20Natz%20Pups%2021%20Days%20Old%20White2.jpg)! And it’s meant to be that colour!” Frank said.

Theta was sitting between Allie’s paws now, getting mouthed and licked at. “We got a hardlight projector so Allie can feel me and Dee. And German shepherds are one of the smartest breeds; they protect people and can do all kinds of smart tricks and things! They make good war dogs.” Theta hugged Allie and his new host responded to the small, bright being, nuzzling back.

“You are going to take it into combat situations?” Gamma asked.

“Well... I’m a military AI. It’s all I know what to do...” Theta said more dejectedly. “But the neural implant I’ve designed should allow me just as much connectivity so hopefully I can keep her safe! I wanna’ use her with Frank to help people when they get into trouble.”

A dog? “Well, I imagine that it will be easier to keep under control and clean than another human host.”

“Hey,” Frank complained.

“I do not really care for dogs,” Gamma admitted; “I am more of a cat-program. But I think it is a good choice for you, brother.”

“Thanks!”

“I am... glad simply to see you happy,” Gamma also said.

Allie seemed sleepy again now, making sure Theta stayed sat with her in her short paws while she settled back down in bed. Theta seemed content there, nervously brushing the blonde and purple bangs from his eyes. “...Yeah. Dogs don’t live forever either but... I’m hoping we get a few more years this time.” He moved in closer.

Gamma watched, not sure what to say other than to agree.

“Gamma.” Delta called the camera back to him on that end. “Have you heard anything regarding the other fragments whilst monitoring the universal internet? We recently encountered rumours of activity by the Meta/Agent Maine. They were not clear in indicating whether it was the original that fell to his death or the time-clone that escaped the EMP with us, however.”

“I have not heard anything except vague reports about the fate of the dead one’s body and armour,” Gamma said. “Frankly, I would be gladder never to hear from the time-clone again, if Sigma remains with him.”

“A sentiment I share. However, one day we may not have that choice.”

Gamma turned a worried green to match Delta, then back. “I hope that is not the case. I will continue to monitor the universal internet. We do not move in circles as close to Project Freelancer as you do, however, if news is merely spoken.”

“Of course,” Delta said. “We will contact you if we encounter anything on our end.”

“Butch and Reggie also want me to offer that we would help DuFresne at any time with our services for no payment-”

“Aw! That’s nice!”

“-while I believe he actually has many things he needs to pay us back for. But there you go. They are too sentimental.”

“Well, tell them thanks anyway,” Frank said, turning the phone back to face him. He looked a little miffed, a little amused too from O’Malley probably.

“If it means helping my brothers, I suppose I would comply,” Gamma said, a teasing indigo.

“Thanks.”

“Any time.”

They hung up.

 

~#~ Some time later; perhaps months, more likely years ~#~

Gamma hovered over his AI unit on the bedside table, working away in the dark while two humans slept in the bed. His white light was turned down low and dark, just an ever so slight illumination in the room. He was on Reggie’s side, not Butch’s with his ever-light sleeping habits. It was for Butch he glowed though, making the room not quite pure darkness just in case.

Everything was still and dark. Even when Reggie’s phone rang on the table beside him, Gamma kept the ringtone and conversation silent and dark.

After hanging up, he turned up his luminosity, making a gentle noise of a computer wanting attention.

Butch awoke first, almost instantly. He was completely alert.

Reginald work up more slowly, frowning and grumping like ever when he was awoken suddenly before he knew what was going on.

“Gamma?” Butch asked, sat up. He brushed his long, loose hair over his shoulder.

“DuFresne just called us,” Gamma said.

That got Reginald’s attention off fixing his slightly errant moustache. “Frank?”

“He requires our help.”

That got Reginald out of bed instantly.

Butch just rolled his eyes and smiled at the sight, shaking his head. “Well, we do certainly owe him, and your brothers.” He started gathering his hair into a braid. “Just what fun little escapade do we get to join him on this time then?”

“It is military assistance he requires. Full armour,” Gamma gave the commands and watched the two agents of Project Freelancer slip into a mode so natural anyone would be forgiven for thinking they had never been any other way.

Suited up in white and royal blue armour, sniper rifle for one, an assortment of weapons, many concealed, and almost every military field supply possible for the other.

The AI slipped into one system, then across to the other, joining them and minds with them as the teleportation transfer was prepared; time and space are two parts of one and the same dimension, after all, when it comes down to it, partnered forever.

“Where are we headed anyway?” Butch asked, amused and curious. He could hear Reginald perfecting that new knock-knock joke for Frank over in his mind.

Gamma paused, just before activating the jump, to answer.

“Blood Gulch.”

 

* * *

 

Did I leave the whole thing on a cliff-hanger? Well, maybe. That's why I added the epilogue chapter following this, to give you some idea of where things would go from here on. As much as I would love to write that, I simply don't have the time anymore. Besides, if you go check out the epilogue you might find me not writing it and leaving it to your imagination is actually more fun.

But that aside, this is it. The end of Butch, Reginald and Gamma's tale. Everyone survived, all friends and lovers were finally reunited, and all the lies have been told.

I really do want to say a thank you to everyone who has taken the time to comment and read this series right to the end. It's been really long, nearly 300,000 words (The exact figure is next chapter if you're curious) and I'm amazed anyone's stuck with it all the way through. I'm personally amazed I've stuck with this all the way through. I'll tell you something honestly; when I first began this story back in May 2015 it was just going to be a ~6,000 word Florida/Wyoming one-shot thing. Just a couple of bits of how they met, romanced, and that's it; classic one-shot romance fic. But somehow it became this whole series. And Gamma got involved. Then Doc and O'Malley. And Theta and Delta. Contrary to what it might seem, none of this was intended at the start. Half of it wasn't intended until it was written and the characters started writing their own stories.

I hope people have enjoyed these characters getting a chance at love and happiness canon denied them. I hope people have enjoyed the journey with all its ups and downs. And I hope you've enjoyed exploring 7 characters who are pretty neglected really in canon but amazed me with how much they had to tell once I gave them a voice.

It's been hard, and strange, and I've loved it. I'd love to hear if you have too.

And if you like my writing, if you think I'm any good, I'm actually planning to become an author. Call this series practice. Anyway, if you're interested in reading something original by me then come check on my Tumblr and follow my novel tag: http://milsmill.tumblr.com/tagged/TME  
There's not much there yet (And if you see this the night it went up, check again on tomorrow because I will be putting something up; I'm just exhausted tonight after this) or alternatively, if you're reading this ages after this story was published then who knows? Maybe there will be something for you to buy.

Anyway, that's it! Just the optional epilogue now if you want to read it.

Thanks, folks, and goodbye!


	24. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bonus, epilogue chapter just to give you some idea of how the characters' tales continue after the story leaves off. It's entirely optional to read. There are some other random bits in there too, just for interest if you've come this far and like this series.  
> Feel free to imagine or do whatever you like with these headcanons; they're just things I still had floating in my head I wanted to share without having to write a full story to do so.  
> Hope they're of some interest : )

I’m not quite sure what scenario Frank would call them to Blood Gulch for – It would have to be something all the Blood Gulchers plus Wash and Carolina couldn’t deal with, after all – but he has the ability to call on them as freelance mercenaries any time now after all he’s done for them.

I was vaguely imagining some sort of invasion into Blood Gulch which had all the Reds and Blues pinned down in one base together, and all the fun that would be. Frank calls the three of them in to break the siege from the outside. Between the two armour enhancements that can be run simultaneously if Gamma time-clones himself, and Gamma’s ability to also operate tanks if they have any, the three would probably not have too much trouble with the element of surprise added as well.

During the fight, someone, I’m thinking Donut, stands up to get a better look and gets shot at. Reggie pulls his old trick of slowing down time and sniping the bullets from the air to save him. Carolina recognises that trick, and knows only one person that can do it, “But he’s dead... He’s long dead. He can’t be...”

After they’ve alleviated the situation, everyone comes out to see who Doc called in to save them. Butch is out there, playing with Gamma who’s still inside a tank, letting Butch sit on the turret and spin round for fun – Caboose wants a turn next, and Donut wants to ride the big, long shaft too – Only Carolina and Wash would recognise Butch in his Freelancer armour. Everyone recognises Wyoming when he comes to join them from his sniper’s position though, and instantly raise their guns at him. Tucker even takes a shot, which thankfully misses. Gamma turns his turret to Tucker in the tank, telling him to try that again. Butch isn’t very approving either, although he knows the two have had their differences, still whilst astride the tank turret, the long shaft pointing down between his legs at Tucker. Tucker certainly hasn’t missed the unfortunate gayness that seems to follow everywhere between him and his old CO either.

Everyone says their hellos again, or for the first time in some cases.

Carolina and Wash are pretty happy to have some other Freelancers back, and both of them parted on reasonable terms with Wyoming and Florida. Wash particularly is glad to see Butch back after being so wrecked by his leaving at such a critical time for Wash. Those two are less glad about the AI time-clones that have survived, but since two are Delta and Theta, they’ll tolerate Gamma and Omega who seem to be under control.

As for O’Malley, if this is post-Chorus then Doc’s ‘split personality’ was just him saying, “Fuck it,” and letting O’Malley take over sometimes because he doubted anyone would care or notice and they didn’t. He was too annoyed once he found out no one had missed him during his time in the void and happily let O’Malley out. (And maybe he’s grown to accept O’Malley’s views more tolerantly too)

On that, when Reginald gets a chance to talk to Frank again then, he says how much he’s missed Frank, like always. Frank just breaks down into tears against him, telling Reggie how mean everyone was completely forgetting him while he was in the void compared to how much Reggie cares. Reginald takes a pretty dim view of most of the Blood Gulchers following that, for mistreating Frank.

Most of the Blood Gulchers aren’t too fussed – “Oh great; yet _more_ Freelancers...” – or fond considering Wyoming was a previous enemy of theirs. Now he’s hired on their side he won’t harm them though, although Tucker seems to have various ‘accidents’ more often now for some reason, getting sniped with paint bullets and so on. It’s a bit awkward when Wyoming has memories of being killed by most of them at some point. Those who met Butch before have mixed feelings about him being back, because he’s a Blue but the one Blue who remembers him doesn’t really like him either. Those who never met him before, Donut and Caboose, seem very fond of his cheery attitude.

If it’s post-Chorus I don’t know about Epsilon/the fragments he split into and what they’re doing compared to these time-clones from this story series. For ease, I’m ignoring their existence and just keeping the four time-clones of the original fragments from this story series.

~#~

AI note – I was able to get my Gamma facecanon into the story. I think the others were all at least partially referenced somewhere but just to help imagine if you’re rereading or curious:

My Theta is a small, scruffy, blonde-haired North in T-shirt and shorts with a skateboard. He has purple highlights at the ends of his hair, for South. His clothes are all scuffed up and torn from going slightly rampant. He has a cool, floppy beanie hat too in his armour colours.

Delta is a nerdier version of York; thinner, taller and sharper-faced. Glasses, sweatervest, suspenders loose around his waist and a white lab coat-style jacket. But he has his glasses tinted and shirt untucked because he’s a REBEL (Or just because he’s slightly rampant)

O’Malley was mostly described at various points; brown skin, reddish-purple eyes and a long mane of white hair. Ragged, white muscle-shirt and tattered, black shorts. I wanted something scary but also ridiculous for him. He has some piercings but lots of tattoos all over his arms and back from going rampant. [Semi-nsfw illustration with Doc here.](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/135524740299/semi-nsfw-docomalley-under-the-cutmore)

~#~

Over time, if Butch, Reginald and Gamma stay with the Reds and Blues, I had some more headcanons for that, things that would happen and interactions between the characters:

As for which team they’re on, there’s an argument over that with Butch being Blue, both in armour colour and previous alignment, but the Reds refuse to let the Blues have yet more Freelancers. But at the same time, they refuse to take Butch because he’s Blue, even if they’d take Wyoming (Gamma’s kind of blue too so he’s also out.) Butch refuses to be split from Reginald though. It’s all solved anyway when Reginald joins the argument, asking what they’re all talking about. He then says the three of them are already on Purple Team. “Purple Team?” “You know, Frank’s team.” So apparently Doc has a team now, with two Freelancers and four AIs on it, and he gets to be leader. He’s pretty happy about that; now no one can ignore and forget him any longer! He’s just as powerful as both of the other teams! But since they’re a pacifist team and can’t fight anyone, they kind of get forgotten in terms of actually being a team anyway.

Character interactions:

Caboose is very fond of Butch. When they first get the chance to talk alone for a while, after learning Butch previously had his old room and left the flower thank-you note, Caboose asks, “So... you died protecting Church, Lieutenant Lily?” because that’s all he understood of Tucker explaining why Butch died/left. “Uh... I guess?” “...I love you.”  
Caboose takes to Butch like Butch’s little brother. He calls him various titles/ranks followed by types of flowers, ala Donut.  
Caboose doesn’t really think anything of Reginald, not remembering him as an enemy that clearly. He seems too nice to be an enemy now, “And he is Major Magnolia’s bestest friend!” and Reginald likes the lad for being simple and friendly. Gamma still feels uneasy around Caboose because of that one time-loop he killed him in Blood Gulch, which thankfully no one but him and Reginald remembers.

Donut loves Butch too. If Butch and Frank were a perfect pair together, the two of them with Donut also added in is crazy; Butch fills in the gay/innuendo part Frank doesn’t do for Donut – And boy, do Donut’s innuendos get worse when Butch is there to add to them! – while Butch also does all the hippy, good-feeling team-building stuff for Frank that Donut doesn’t do so much. Since Reginald likes Frank, he’s fine with that. He isn’t so sure what to make of Donut, or why Donut keeps calling him a ‘bear’ for some reason, but the lad seems friendly enough to him.

Caboose and Donut are also very fond of Theta and his new host Allie. Sarge seems pretty keen on having a war dog around too, making sure all the mischevious little ones don’t get up to too much trouble. Between that and Theta’s ability with technology, he gets on pretty well with Sarge when he needs a crazy Uncle/Grandpa figure. Caboose, Theta and Freckles play a lot, even though Freckles is a... Well, despite being a gun now, Freckles seems to enjoy playing with Allie when they need some ‘dog’ time. Caboose likes dressing Allie up in little hats and taking pictures. Theta likes that too.

In general, Theta remains a bit quiet and reserved after everything but having Allie helps a lot with getting him interacting and doing stuff. It also means Theta gets to do lots of special stuff since a dog is really useful for all the stuff the humans can’t do.

Delta continues hanging around with Frank mainly, content to ensure he does not do more harm than help with his ‘medic’ role. At first, he had thought the Blood Gulchers might listen to his superior logic and planning and elect him their official group strategist. That quickly went out the window though. Carolina and Wash will listen at least to him, and like to reminisce about York and old times sometimes. Simmons seems to like him as well, as does Grif when Delta will put his logic to use helping Grif’s ends.

On the note of York, Butch finally gets to learn what happened to the other Freelancers; he hadn’t thought to ask before. Not York at least, considering the bad blood between Reginald and him.  
After all, it went from Reginald indirectly causing York partial sight loss in one eye, to York throwing a locker at Reginald’s face, to Reginald killing him. [“You boys sure do escalate quickly!”](http://milsmill.tumblr.com/post/146810764224/agent-wyoming-indirectly-causes-york-partial)

Due to York, after learning Wyoming killed him if she wasn’t already aware, Carolina isn’t too fond of Reginald. Yet, at the same time, being an older Freelancer and kind of ‘dad-like’, sometimes she doesn’t mind his company when all the ‘children’ get too much and she needs someone else to be the responsible one for a change and let her take the weight off to be a child again – Tell me there’s anyone else in Blood Gulch who can fill that role – She isn’t happy about it, isn’t fond of doing it, but sometimes when things get too stressful Reginald can be a sort of uncle to gripe to and not worry about being a little immature in front of. When he’s not making annoying jokes and still refusing to move up that is.

Carolina and Butch are probably more competitive – Turns out she still hasn’t forgiven him for that glue-dumping incident way back when Butch first joined the Project. Without Tex, and with Butch always having been such close friends with Tex, they become semi-rivalrous about completing missions and battles, and over their different but equally effective leadership styles.

Butch and Wash used to be rivals, once long ago, but they’re firmly just friends now as when Butch suddenly left. They’ll spend time alone kicking back, playing games, sometimes. Butch can call him ‘David’ then when they’re alone, unlike most people. They’re closely supportive of each other after all the various traumas they’ve both been through.

Since Reginald was pretty good to Wash at the end of Project Freelancer, when stuff started falling apart, he’s all right in Wash’s books. Bit awkward at times but a sort of ‘respectfully nod whenever they see each other’ relationship and strong respect for each other’s skills as a soldier when working together.

The remaining Blood Gulchers, Tucker isn’t a fan of either. Butch is still far too gay and weird, and inadvertently exposed him to Wyoming naked when Tucker went looting through Butch’s stuff. Reginald is really not thrilled about that part, aside from how uncomfortable it makes Tucker whenever he acts gay or flirts. Butch is very, very not thrilled about that; between Tucker looting his stuff and armour, not caring when he died twice, being so insulting to Reginald and taking a lot of delight in mocking Reginald and taunting him with the sword that killed him, Butch takes as dim a view of Tucker as his cheery front will allow. He is never openly mean to Tucker but he finds veiled, indirect ways since Tucker seems to have no intention of changing his tune and trying to be nice to either of them.  
Junior’s a problem too, when he comes to visit his dad and immediately attacks Reginald on memory.

The Reds are bigger fans; Sarge might not like Butch’s blueness but he has respect for his skills and as a worthy rival – Butch is way out of his league, but he plays down his abilities for Sarge – Sarge likes Reginald more. There are some similarities there, and plenty of old man bonding to be done, and Reginald particularly likes having someone who enjoys hearing his mild griping about Butch. Having an AI to help with Sarge’s robotics helps too. Gamma and Lopez get on well. Or Gamma thinks they do. So does Butch. Lopez would disagree, mostly.

Simmons definitely likes Butch – Likes being called ‘Daddy’? Endless encouragement and praise? Knowledge of plenty of nerdy things?

Grif likes Reginald, eventually, once Reginald takes him as his guard whilst sniping – Hours spent just lying on your stomach waiting, watching your spotter do all the running around and work, only having to pull the trigger once if you’re good and then your whole job’s done? Yeah, Grif likes the sound of that.  
He doesn’t like Gamma so much, after Gamma learns about his upbringing and starts calling him ‘Broken Source’ but a quick, “Yeah, well, your face is broken source!” sorts that out.

~#~

I don’t really want to think about where things would go in the long-term, where they would end, because that’s sad.

Other than Butch, Reginald and Gamma never being apart again and growing old together. Gamma might get a little slow or glitchy, like any piece of technology that’s around too long, while Butch and Reginald would keep their hairstyles and moustache even as they turn grey and all their features become decorated with laughter lines.

But yeah, no sad endings. After 294,210 words, I’ve earned the right to give this lot the happy ending canon denied them.

Maybe they would meet up with the time-clone of Maine and the other AIs too. I can’t imagine the AIs would go down that well, unless Sigma’s vastly become a better program, but I bet Wash and Carolina would love to be with Maine again, the real Maine they once knew, not the Meta.

Tex too; after she disappeared following their escape from the EMP, maybe she went to find 479er – Yeah, I ship Tex/479er – and Butch’s ducklings from the Mother of Invention. One big, happy family again! Mostly. Tex probably still wants to get Butch and Reggie back for screwing her over, and Butch and Tex never did settle that fight.

Butch feels he made a mistake so blindly seeing Project Freelancer as home and clinging to it, blithely trying to ignore all its many flaws. He was too desperate in wanting a place, a community, that he could finally call home that he did anything to keep it together, even willfully ignoring all the immorality and forces that were bound to pull it apart in the end, including good ones like the Great War ending.

But the Blood Gulch crew – They’ve survived dealing with 6 of the 10 Freelancers, including them before. And even though they’re meant to be divided into two teams, both sides care more for each other than the supposed ‘team’ of Freelancers at the Project.

He still worries about trying again, about being cursed and ending up somehow being the thing that pulls even this group apart simply by merit of him being a part. But he can’t deny what a better place this is, and hey – Making mistakes isn’t bad so long as you learn from them.

To all the characters this story followed – Butch, Reginald, Gamma, Frank, O’Malley, Delta and Theta – I like to think they could have a good home in Blood Gulch from now on.


End file.
